Character is a Person’s Destiny…
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Written by Jimmie Burroughs 
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“It is your character, and your character alone, that will make your life happy or unhappy. That is all that really passes for destiny. And you choose it. No one else can give it to you or deny it to you. No rival can steal it from you. And no friend can give it to you. Others can encourage you to make the right choices or discourage you. But you choose.” U.S. Senator John McCain
Character is something that we choose and something that is developed.
“Six Pillars of Character”
- Trustworthiness
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Fairness
- Caring
- Citizenship
Where did the six pillars of character as a standard of teaching come from?
In 1992 in a summit meeting in Aspen, Colorado the Josephson Institute, a diverse group of educators, youth leaders and ethicists agreed unanimously that there were six pillars that formed the basis of character. 40 states, nearly a 1,000 cities, the U.S. Senate and the president of the United States have endorsed these six attributes as being central to character education.
Perhaps more could be added but these six are indeed the very core of what character is all about.
Trustworthiness:
Trustworthiness is considered to be a moral value. There are those in our lives in which we must place the utmost of trust; the surgeon who we trust with our life; the airline pilot that we trust to safely deliver us to our destination. A trustworthy person is that person which we can rely on not to betray us. A trustworthy person is those that we can rely on to keep a secret and be assured that they will never repeat them.
People we trust in general are those who have earned our trust over time. They have given proof by their actions that they are trustworthy. It hurts deeply when a person we trust betrays that trust. I had a friend whose spouse had betrayed her and had an affair. She was able to forgive him but 25 years later she still did not trust him. Once trust has been broken it is almost impossible to restore it.
Politicians ruin their careers often by their unfaithfulness to their spouse. Although affairs are common place today in our society, people do not want their elected, trusted officials to be caught in an affair. It is a mark against their trustworthiness.
Respect:
Respect includes taking into consideration someone’s preferences, feelings, ideas, needs, thoughts, and wishes. Respect is also acceptance of another person, acknowledging them as an acceptable person, listening to what they have to say, treating them right with fairness, being truthful with them and accepting them and their differences.
There are three different kinds of respect: respect for things; respect for persons and respect for self.
The first kind of respect is for things which include everything that deserves respect that is not a person. It could be a group of people that make up a church, or an organization of people. It could be an animal. I have a lot of respect for my dog. He also respects me as his master. I respect him because he has won my respect. He is a friend and companion. That is all I expect from him and he does it very well.
We teach our children to respect the law and abide by it. We can respect law and abide by it out of respect or we can abide by the law out of fear of being penalized if we break it. For example, if we are driving on a highway with a 55 MPH driving speed, we can respect that as being a safer speed, realizing that it is so designated to protect us and our property as well as others and their property. On the other hand we may abide by it for fear that if we don’t we may be fined. The positive way to look at laws is from the perspective of their purpose and not for the penalty if they are broken. I respect the law against taking what is not mine because it is the right thing to do.
The second kind of respect is for people. People deserve respect if they deserve respect. By that I mean that no one wins respect if they are disrespectable. We should respect those who have respect due them. We may lose respect for those who prove themselves to be disrespectable. Respect usually centers on a person’s character. The exception is respect for a person’s ability to do things exceptionally well. We may respect and athletes ability or an artist etc. Generally we respect a person’s character as well as their rights under the constitution.
Respect for one’s self can ironically be the hardest of all. When we fail to live up to our own expectations or when we fail morally it can bring self disrespect. Self respect is important in that it enables us to respect others. How do win back self respect when it has been lost. We correct those things which caused it. We change our ways.
Improper respect is a respect centered on race, color, creed, gender, size, education, social standing or notoriety.
Responsibility:
“It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.” Peter Ustinov,
English actor & author (1921 – 2004)
There are three areas of responsibility: We are responsible to God; to others and to ourselves.
Our first responsibility is to God. If you believe there is a God, then you must believe also that we are his creation therefore since we are his creation, we belong to him and are responsible to him. The question is, in what ways are we responsible to God? According to the Bible our first responsibility is re-establish a relationship with him.
There are a lot of different religions in the world and many believe that they are all headed for the same place, that is to God. It is like God is at the top of a mountain and different religions are on their separate trail that leads up the mountain and in the end all will wind up before God. What if the God of the mountain top was to come down from the mountain to meet with people? That is exactly what happened. He came down from heaven in the form of Jesus Christ.
Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life and no man cometh to the Father but by Me.”, John 14:6. We now come to God by our trust in his son, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life”. (John 3:16)
Trusting in Jesus is more than a simple carefully worded prayer asking Jesus to come into our heart or walking down a church isle and signing a card. It is forsaking all to follow him; it is turning from our sin and desiring him more than all the world has to offer. His word becomes our guide book for life. We seek to know him better and to please him in our every action.
Secondly, we are responsible to others. There is an interesting section of Scripture relating to this that tells it all: Jesus said, “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ (Matthew 25:34-45)
Thirdly we are responsible to ourselves. There is a saying, “To thyself first be true.” We are responsible to be ourselves to develop the things we are from our perspective, not what others lay out for us. We are a unique individual not a conglomerate of the things others say we are supposed to be. Let your true self come forth. It is your responsibility to yourself to develop your own gifts, to fulfill your potential. Parents often want to plan their kid’s future and tell them the career that they need to pursue but not so, it is each person’s responsibility to determine their own direction.
We are responsible to ourselves for our health, our wellbeing. We must do what we are supposed to do not what others say we are to do. We each have a specific purpose for being on this earth and it our responsibility to find that purpose; no one else can fulfill it. Let nothing stop you; you must persevere. Don’t be a blamer; that is how the world functions, blaming everything and everyone for their failure rather than being responsible. Be accountable for the things you say and do and take all care to say and do the right things. Think before you speak and before you take action. Make it your goal in life to always do your best. Be the best possible example for others around you.
Fairness:
The very best guide for fairness is the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Obey the rules and play by the same rules that you expect others to play by. Be careful to listen to others when they speak to you and give them a respectful reply. Never take advantage of another person even when you have an opportunity and they would never know the difference. Treat each individual with fairness regardless of who they are.
Many years ago I moved to a small town in the south. There were a lot of blacks that lived in this town; I had never been around blacks much before. Only one family of blacks lived in the small town of 10,000 where I grew up. I was not raised to be prejudice. I was amazed at the signs I saw in this new town. There were two drinking fountains; one for blacks and one for whites with signs over each, whites, Negroes. It was the same for restrooms. On the city buses blacks were to ride in the back of the bus; it was the law.
I’m thankful today that that kind of unfairness does not so blatantly exist though there still remains a lot of unfairness. In those days I found it to be so in creditable that even the law was so unfair to human beings that only differed in the color of their skin. Fairness is treating all people fairly regardless of who they are.
Caring:
Caring for others makes itself known by:
- Expressing your gratitude
- Helping those who need your help
- Showing compassion for others
- Showing kindness
- Having an attitude of forgiveness
Citizenship:
I live in a nice neighborhood; people take pride in keeping their homes and lawns neat and uncluttered. Nevertheless I must pick up empty beer cans and trash that people throw out on my lawn. Millions of dollars each year that could go for the betterment of the community is spent to clean up the trash that people throw out of their cars. Some even discard mattresses and unwanted furniture beside country roads rather than taking it to a nearby dump. It is hard to believe that people are so thoughtless and un-citizen like. Protecting the environment is good character.
Being a good citizen reflects good character. It is doing your share to make your community better. It is being informed about the events that are going on in your community and becoming involved. It is obeying and upholding the laws. It is being a good neighbor. It is being a volunteer to help fill the gaps where your community needs help. It is being a voter.
Conclusion:
It is true as Senator John McCain said that our character determines our destiny and our happiness.
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“With patience and ease, in an unselfish and purposeful way, over a time period undetermined, and for a good that includes others, I intend for $1,000,000 to come to me and to others who join me in holding to this objective.” Jimmie Burroughs
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Jimmie Burroughs is the author of JimmieBurroughs.com ; get more tips on personal development: www.JimmieBurroughs.com
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