Do the thing and you will have the power-Part II

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Written by Jimmie Burroughs Email this article to a friend

The final three of the life principles that shape our future and our lives are:

• Personal development
• Finances
• Relationships
  

Personal development:

“We attract success by the person we become”, Jim Rohm. Successful people realize the value of personal development, the unsuccessful often don’t. Personal development gives a person the slight edge, just enough of an edge to be on the upward spiral of life instead of the downward one. It is a deliberate and determined effort to do little things consistently that over time add up to a lot; little things that are easy to do but also easy not to do as is pointed out in the slight edge; things that most people are not willing to do.

Developing a philosophy, mindset and attitude is what lead to a successful life. The world in general considers money as the mark of success but one can have money and still not live a successful life. Success embraces all five of the primary issues of life; spiritual life, Health, Personal development, Finances and Relationships. What is the good of all the money in the world if a person loses their own soul? What good is money if your health is broken in the process of amassing it? What good is money to an uncompassionate, uncaring and selfish person that sees no joy in life? What good is money if you have no one with whom you can share life?

It is interesting to note that income stays on about the same level as personal development. To increases income potential is to increase in personal development. The limiting factor in all the primary issues of life is always you. You make the spiritual decision, the decisions that determine your health, personal development, finances and relationships. Jeff Olson makes a remarkable and yet simple suggestion that aids personal development. He suggests reading 10 pages each day of a powerful, life transforming book. Check success.com for books on success and personal development. Build your own library of powerful life changing books; it will be one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself.

Education doesn’t end at high school or college, it is a lifetime experience. Personal growth never ends until life ends. Technology has made learning personal development easier by providing the CD player and the iPod. You can listen to personal development CDs at home in your spare time or in your car on the way to work or even as you jog.

Like anything else personal develop takes a plan. Make your plan now to purchase some good books on personal development and CDs. Set aside a quiet time to read and listen or listen to CDs in your car etc. Don’t say well someday I’m going to do that. Someday is the 8^th day of the week, it never comes. Do it now and don’t put it off.

Finances:

The importance of learning to manage your finances can’t be overstressed.

It would be nice if money grew on trees and all we had to do is harvest what we needed; that way everyone could have financial freedom, but it doesn’t work that way;  it takes some planning and some incentive on our part to have an adequate retirement. It is not about getting rich but about having the kind of financial freedom you want and having enough to live as you want when you retire. It has been proven that money we have over and above what it takes to live as we want adds little or no satisfaction. It is about being financially free and most people by the time they reach retirement are anything but financially free; in fact the statistics are dismal to say the least. Here is how it stacks up:

Of those reaching 65 and retirement age:

• ·         1% will be wealthy
• ·         4%will have financial freedom
• ·         41% will continue to have to work
• ·         54% will be broke

I read an article that stated 85% of people over 65 could not write a check for $600 above their monthly living expenses because they simply do not have the money. Wow! That means that only 15% are anywhere near financial freedom. The reason this happens is that people do not discipline themselves to save when they are young and continue throughout their lives; just making the little everyday slight edge decisions to save a portion of what you earn can mount up over time to considerable wealth. The chauffer in the movie Sabrina saved and invested and had over two million dollars at retirement age. This happens time and time again in real life also. It is not necessarily how much you earn but how much you save that counts.

It doesn’t take that much: Save just $1,000 a year, invest it wisely and be a millionaire by the time you are 65 if you begin at age 25 and that is a lot better than broke at 65. Save $3,000 a year and invest it wisely and have $5.8 million at retirement if you start at 25 and continue until 65.

Invest smart; do your homework before you invest. Read some good books on financial investing and planning. The investing strategy changes with the times so don’t get stuck in yesterday’s mode. Don’t let brokers sucker you into investing into their goods. Learn to be your own broker. Listening to brokers has cost me thousands. There are a lot of investors who are in the know that send out monthly newsletters on sound investment; subscribe to one.

The question is:  how could a person at 25 save a $1,000 a year while trying to provide for a young family and make ends meet.  A man and his wife who smoke could easily save 1K a year if they were willing to quit. Leasing a car is like throwing a $100 dollar bill out the window every month; don’t and save at least 1k a year.

Let’s say you buy a new car every four or five years at $500 or $600 a month; why not drive a used car that you saved up and paid cash for and save hundreds a month. You may say, “I like to drive a new car”. OK, think about it: driving a new car could cost you a million dollars or more off of your retirement; is it worth that to you, if so carry on. Cut up your credit card and pay it off and save up to 18% a year on interest.

The only smart way to own a credit card is to pay it off each month and since most people don’t have that kind of discipline, it is better to have none. If you think you have to have a credit card, get a paid up one after you save up the money.

Don’t get suckered in on the same as cash: buy now and pay no interest or payments until next year. The reason why this offer is made is that companies know that most people will not pay it off in the specified time and then they can charge  the back interest which can be a whole lot of money, as much as 21.9%.

This is from my article on “10 money principles for financial freedom”. If you would like to know those principle read the article: CLICK HERE.

Relationships:

This section is a revision of “Becoming a Better Person is the Secret to Building Better Relationships.”

Building relationships is as easy as using the slight edge philosophy each day to do the little things that consistently make you a better person and  build relationships.

The Bible taught the slight edge philosophy long before we had a book titled that, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32, King James Version) The slight edge is just doing things that most are unwilling to do consistently each day, like being kind, compassionate and forgiving. This is what builds relationships.

Three of the most common things I’ve noticed over the years in my counseling experiences with couples are that they are often unkind to one another, often express anger toward each other and have an unforgiving attitude toward each other. All three of these are just characteristics of lack of personal growth or you could say it is immaturity. Maturing means becoming a better person: “Becoming a Better Person is the Secret to Building Better Relationships.” It’s called personal development.

So let’s discuss how through personal development one can reverse those three relationship thwarting attributes and overcome them.

Be Kind to One Another

Kindness is so classy. A person who always expresses kindness is a stand apart from those around them generally. It makes them look so classy and desired. On the other hand rudeness looks so tacky and especially if it is directed toward a mate. No one wants to be around a couple who are constantly at each other; it is so uncomfortable for everyone.

Though kindness should be expressed to everyone, I will mention some simple ways of expressing kindness to your mate that will cost you little of nothing. Let me make it clear in the beginning however that I do not hold myself up as a model. I have had to learn much of what I know about relationships through trial and error. Many of you reading this have a distinct advantage over me in that you still have a mate and still can learn and improve your relationship with them; my wife passed away in June of 2005, so my opportunities are gone forever to ever make a difference in that relationship. My sincere advice to you is to make a difference now while there is still life. Here are a few simple things that you can do to express kindness to your mate:

• Greet your mate with enthusiasm where ever you see them and whenever you see them, whether it is coming to the airport from a business trip, coming home from work or meeting them at a party or whatever. Treat them like they are first in your life because they should be.
• Support them in all they do. Help them when they are down. Recognize their accomplishments and praise them for it. Never miss the opportunity to give her flowers on the appropriate occasions and you might want to keep a few little gifts handy to give to them at just the right moment.
• Do the little things of politeness like opening her car door, (If you happen to have a feminist for a mate, you may have to be more creative because opening a car door may just anger her; feminists miss the point completely.) holding her hand as you walk, seating her at the restaurant. For her, she can look her best for her man and always treat him with respect especially when among friends. The late Ruth Graham, the wife of the reverend Billy Graham, once said, “When I wake in the morning, my thought is how I can make this a better day for Billy.” What a difference that would make in any marriage from both the perspective of the husband and the wife.
• Respect the other person’s need for privacy. Men especially need to be careful about making too many sexual advances and constant grappling. This can indeed be an invasion of a woman’s privacy. Learn to restrain yourself and wait until the appropriate time.
• Take responsibility for your share of chores around the house. Be sure to pick up after yourself; yeah this is for men; this is often a bone of contention for a women to continually pick up after a grown man.
• Never, and I say never push another person’s hot buttons intentionally. This can bring a lot of grief and for no reason.
• Never express more kindness to total strangers than you do to the one you love.

Be tenderhearted

A good definition of tenderhearted is, “having a compassionate, kindly, or sensitive disposition”. We all have our problems in life and sometimes they can be overwhelming and to have a mate who is insensitive at times like these is ludicrous…so foolish, unreasonable, or out of place as to be almost amusing were it not for the seriousness of the circumstances.

Being sensitive to the needs of your mate, friends or just anyone in their time of need is the strongest way to build relationships and to do the opposite is the fastest way to tear them down.

I have also noticed that some expend all their energy taking care of the needs of someone else without ever having someone to support them also in their times of need; what a great inequity; shame on a husband or wife guilty of this.

Be Angry and sin not

Anger is common and we see it in domestic settings, the work place, at school, on the road, at church and everywhere we go. According to statistics One out of five people have an anger management problem. The anger drive is a God given drive among many other drives that we have. It is not the drive in question but how we use the drive. The Bible says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun goes down upon your wrath: Neither gives place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, King James Version)

God gave us an anger drive for a very real purpose. Anger prepares our body to take action in danger. It sends blood that is in the brain to the muscles to strengthen them for fleeing or taking defensive action. We misuse it when we become angry for any other reason. Take note that the blood leaves the brain when we get angry putting us in a situation where we are not able to think as clearly as normal. It has been born out in studies that when angry raises the IQ drops 20 points; what that means is if we are average, it puts us in the stupid range. Did you ever say things when you were angry that you realized later were stupid and you wished you hadn’t said them?

Alright so getting angry is normal, so what to do. Zip it up when angry; bit your tongue; wait until you cool off so you have time to recover your best thinking process. Here are four things you might want to do:

1. Be objective and look very carefully at yourself. It could be you are the one at wrong. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye”. (Matthew 7:3)
2. Don’t judge another’s motives. There is no way we know why someone does what they do unless we are in their mind. “For the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2)
3. Don’t respond to anger with anger. Keep your cool and be careful what you say.
4. Retreat from the angry person’s presence as soon as possible and wait until they have cooled off and then discuss the problem. Just ask them if they will give you time to think about it and then discuss it later.

Becoming a Better Person is the Secret to Building Better Relationships…I like that line from the movie, “As good as it gets”, Melvin says to Carol, “You make me want to be a better man”. What greater complement than to impact another life to become a better person.

Master the five primary aeries of your life and you will have an overflowing abundance of success.

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“With patience and ease, in an unselfish and purposeful way, over a time period undetermined, and for a good that includes others, I intend for $1,000,000 to come to me and to others who join me in holding to this objective.” Jimmie Burroughs

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Jimmie Burroughs is the author of JimmieBurroughs.com ; get more tips on personal development: www.JimmieBurroughs.com

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