3 Ways to get people to like you in 60 Seconds or Less
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Written by Jimmie Burroughs 
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Getting people to like you is not that difficult; it just takes being a decent person who has the interest of others at heart. This article will suggest three ways to get people to like you in 60 seconds or less.
It may seem a little impossible to get people to like you so quickly, but there is a reason why it works. The secret is in understanding what people look for in others.
People generally have good reasons for not liking someone. Each year a poll is taken to find the most disliked athletes. Michael Vick, Tiger Woods and Kris Humphries made the 2012 list. Woods led the list primarily because of the vast amount of publicity he received surrounding his divorce.
People dislike others for different reasons. However, there seems to be something the three mentioned above have in common, that is they all seem to lack character, show little concern for others and are minus integrity. Those are opposite of the things people look for to determine if they like you or not.
Three ways to get people to like you are:
- Develop some character
- Show interest in others
- Be honest to yourself and others
First: Develop some character
It seems as if some people like to develop the reputation of being bad. If that is their goal, it certainly will not make them liked by others. I have known people I did not feel safe in their presence because I never knew what they would do that might get me into trouble by association, or even if they would turn on me when they drank a little. Obviously, I made it a point not to be around them. Developing a reputation of being a good person always is preferable for making friends and getting people to like you. Not even bad people like other bad people.
Over 170 words describe the various kinds of characters, so consequently these words can be used in different combinations to describe millions of different kinds of character.
The “Six Pillars of Character” which was developed several years ago by the Josephson Institute has simplified the approach for the purpose of teaching character primarily to children, and it has become a guide for teaching character to all age groups today. The ethical values taught are those that most anyone would agree are acceptable for character building; they are not exclusive to any culture, religion, or political body. They include just six fundamental precepts:
- Trustworthiness
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Fairness
- Caring
- Citizenship
While these are easy to understand with just the word itself, the Josephson Institute clearly defines and explains their application on their website.
Second: Show interest in others
The most important thing you can do to get someone to like you is show an interest in him or her. Each person has a story, a hobby, a family, a career, and you make them feel important by asking about those things, or anything else connected to them.
Which of these two people would you like? You meet a woman who asked you your name right off and then begins to call you by it. She has a warm smile, asks questions about you and your family and pays close attention to what you say. You also meet a fellow who does not ask your name, and even if you tell him, he does not remember it for five seconds. He is paying little attention to you but rather is looking around the room to see who else is there. It is not hard to decide which of these two you are going to like. You will like the woman in less than 60 seconds and probably will never like the man.
If you want people to like you, here are some guidelines that work:
- Make a strong first impression by having a warm smile and friendly attitude. Others will form an opinion of you in a few seconds, probably less than 60 seconds. It will largely depend on your attitude, but also whether you made them feel important or not.
- Learn a person’s name right at first, repeat it in your mind several times, and begin to call them by it. After you leave them, write their name down and make an association to help you remember it the next time. If you can remember that person’s name the next time you see them, they are for sure going to like you, especially if you are also doing the other things on this list.
- Pay attention to what the other person is saying and ask questions from time to time. Do not pretend to listen while you are thinking about what you are going to say next. People notice this quickly, and it is a turnoff.
- Asking questions is the fuel for a good conversation. People enjoy telling you about their family if you ask, or their job or what they have been doing. Try to ask open-ended questions that require an answer of more than a word or two.
- Always show proper respect to all with whom you speak. Avoid the three Cs: Complaining, condemning and criticizing. Never try to overshadow another with your superior knowledge of the topic.
- Show gratitude and be among the few who ever do. Your genuine compliments and gratitude will go far to make a positive impression. In addition, I need to say that we are not just about making impressions or winning favor, but about being a decent person and genuinely caring for others. We show concern for others by getting past our self-serving agenda and caring about someone else’s concerns. Check to see how many people call you just to ask how you are…probably will not be many.
- When you see people at work or wherever, acknowledge them by using their name and greet them with a warm smile. Go out of you way to practice this.
- Be an inspiration to others by your love, concern, and positive attitude. Take time to show compassion to others when there is a death of a loved one or friend.
- If you know your friend’s birthday or anniversary, call them or send a card to let them know you are thinking about them on their special day.
Nothing I have mentioned above is difficult to do and only takes a little time and effort. It does take some practice to make these things an automatic part of your personality, but it will make others like you like nothing else you can do.
Third: Be honest to yourself and others
A pastor once asked the congregation how many of them had ever told a lie in their entire life. He said raise your hand if you have. Every hand went up. Then he asked them: How many of you have ever stolen anything whether it was a nickel off your mother’s dresser or anything else? Again all hands went up. The pastor then said, “What we have here then is a congregation of liars and thieves,” and then, of course, there was laughter.
Who of us has always been perfectly honest in everything we have said or done? The Scripture says, “There is none perfect, no not one.” The point is to strive to be honest in all things until it becomes a part of your identity.
Honesty is a fundamental element to personal growth. It does not matter how well you do other things if you are not reliable, all else is in vain. People will eventually see through you and will not trust you. As the old saying goes, “You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all the people all the time.” I am not talking about perfection but a solid attempt to be honest. You are not going to confront all the issues in your life at once; it takes time to become what you aspire to become.
You must practice honesty like any other growth principle until it is part of your personality. Dishonesty is used by some to avoid facing the issues about themselves that they do not want to face. That sort of behavior traps a person into a state of poor self-esteem and halts their forward movement, keeping them from ever growing and accomplishing their dreams and goals in life.
Dishonesty can come back to haunt a person. There is a true story of a college graduate who sometimes after his graduation went and told the Dean of Education that he could no longer live a lie, and he turned in his diploma, and asked his name be expunged from the school records because he had cheated his way through college. That took a lot of courage, but it was a necessary payment, at least for him, to clear the conscious and take a new start in honesty. I’m not recommending that anyone follow this fellow’s example, but I’m saying that honesty allows us to be comfortable with whom we are; dishonesty creates a false person, a person who is less than genuine and is uncomfortable with who they are.
Here is a warning: You can be very truthful but at the same time be obnoxious if you start to use your honesty to belittle everyone around you. Keep in mind if you have accomplished to the point where honesty is your second nature, there are many who have not yet had the same experience. They should never be a target for your self-righteousness. The major thrust of personal development is the ability to treat others with kindness and love and not with an arrogant, judgmental attitude. Our responsibility is not to change another person but to change ourselves.
About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a motivational speaker and author who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website (Website Contents) in your personal growth.
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