Five Ways to Live the Kind of Life you Want

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Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care for many years; some of her patients went home to die, and she spent the last weeks of their lives with them. She learned from them their greatest regrets as they looked back on their lives. Here are the top five Regrets of the Dying that she heard most often. Read them carefully and see if you fit the description and if so read further to learn how to change it while you still have life:

1. “I wish I had lived my own life, not the life others expected of me.”

2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

3. “I wish I would have had the courage to express my feelings.”

4.  “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

5.  “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

Do you share some of those regrets, or do you have other regrets not mentioned. I can truthfully say that if I had died earlier in life, the answer would be yes to at least some of the five. As it is, through personal growth, I have grown and learned how to avoid those final regrets, not that I am perfect by any means but just more knowing and a little more courageous. As I consider the five regrets listed above, I can see how it would be easy to do or not to do those things, but I also see how needless it is to wind up that way. With learning and courage, you can live the kind of life you want.

Have the courage to live your life the way you want

Do not wait until your life is over and hope you had lived the kind of life you wanted. You are the only one responsible for the way you live your life. Others will tell you what you should do and how you should live. but you are the one who should decide that. Others may have your best interest at heart, but they are not you, and their concerns may not be yours; their dreams are not your dreams; their wants in life may not be the same as yours. “To thyself be true.” Work to fulfill your own dreams, not someone else’s.

Parents often try to steer their children to do what they do or have the same career that they chose, but this is wrong unless their children desire to pursue the same things. We all have our own aptitudes and desires of what we want in life. It is easy, however, just to give in and let others decide and try to fulfill their expectations rather than our own. It takes determination and courage to be yourself, but it is the only way to find your own purpose in life.

Prioritize your time

Plan a life that gives you time for yourself and your loved ones. Some things are more important than work. Taking time with your children as they grow up, attending the events that are important in their life, doing things with your family while you have an opportunity, and doing the things you want to do are some things to be sure to include in life.

Last Christmas Eve I was walking down a lonely, deserted street in a little Island town, alone with just my dog. It was a warm, beautiful clear night. The North Star took on the appearance of a cross from the rising moisture of the ocean in the atmosphere. My mind drifted back to the memories of Christmas Eves that had long ago come and gone, when my wife and I were busy getting the gifts under the tree for our children for Christmas morning and the joy of Christmas as we watched the kids open their presents with Christmas music in the background.

It made me a bit lonely on this Christmas Eve as I walked along all alone except for my little dog on a deserted street in a faraway place. However, I had my memories of all those many times that I was with my family and the joy I experienced. I would not take anything for the memories; they are far more valuable than money in the bank. It is so easy to allow less important things in life to predominate and miss your children’s youth and your partner’s companionship.

It may take earning less money or living a simpler life, but it is so worth it to have time for those things that are most important. By simplifying your lifestyle you can live on less money, work less and have more time to enjoy your life and experience a lot more happiness.

Stand by your own commitments:

Do not be afraid to express your own feeling and beliefs. I am not talking about always saying what you think at the time, all the time. The truth is if you always say what you think, you will probably end up having no one to say it to.  Nevertheless, stand for the things you believe in your heart. There will be those who oppose you, but they cannot help but respect you for standing on what you believe to be true.

It does take courage to be you rather than just falling in line and doing as others do, whether you really want to or not, just to please them and be part of the group. I can remember when my friends could not stand it because I did not drink or smoke. Today though they probably wish, they never saw a cigarette or a bottle of beer, while I have never had to struggle with the addiction.

Do not let others talk you into being them; be yourself; have your own convictions and stand firmly on them. You do not have to suppress your feeling in order to please others, nor do you have to settle for a life that you do not want.

Nurture your relationships and Express your love often:

I do not necessarily want to keep in touch with all my old friends because time has changed us, and we now go in different directions. Nevertheless, we need friends whether old or new. It takes some effort to nurture and build good relationships. The bottom line is that our relationships are the best part of life, especially those that are the closest like our mate and family.

Sometimes it is too late before we realize the value of friends and how fully to appreciate them and show the appreciation they deserve. Too often, it is because we are so busy with our own lives to take the time.

Love not expressed is not love. We express our love in the words we say, but more importantly in the things we do. In the end, it all comes down to relationships and love. Love is all we bring into this world, the only thing we take with us when we leave, and the only thing we leave behind that is truly valuable. Love and relationships are all of true value that remains finally at the end of life.

Learn to be content:

Contentment in life is learned. You can be content in whatever state you find yourself. If you cannot be content when you are poor with little of life’s luxuries, then you will not be content when you are wealthy with all of life’s luxuries. Being content with what you have, whether it is a little or plenty, is the secret to happiness.

I believe there is one thing we must understand to find the contentment and happiness that we long for, and that is the understanding that we are born in a quest to fill the void in our heart. Most go through life striving to fill the longing of their heart by achieving fame, acquiring riches, material things, or through multiple marriages. However, there is but one solution; God is the only one who can fill the void.  

Conclusion:

I challenge you today, while you have your life before you, carefully and objectively, to examine your life and see what you need to change before life is over and it is too late. It may not be any of the five things mentioned above though it probably does include some of them. Whatever it is that keeps you from experiencing the fulfillment in life you desire, now is the time to begin to try to change it. Do not wait or put it off; start now, today. Remember that you have the capacity for growth but it is up to you to bring it about; no one else can or will.

About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a motivational speaker and author who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website (Website Contents) in your personal growth.

 

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