Communication

How to Avoid Letting Your Words Train Wreck a Conversation

April 16, 2012 /

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Written by Jimmie Burroughs Email to a friend

Most of us have at times said something that we wish we hadn’t. That isn’t that unusual, but knowing how to get back on track without a complete train wreck is worth learning, and even better is learning how to avoid saying the wrong things to start with. Let’s examine some conversations and  words to avoid, or if we become involved in them, how to get out without creating an unpleasant situation. Conversation should be designed to enhance bonding and developing better relationships and not becoming a disaster like the train wreck to the left. Below are some way ways on How to Avoid Letting Your Words Train Wreck a Conversation .

Avoid giving more information than needed or wanted

Talking about sensitive personal issues can create an atmosphere of tenseness. Details about any private matter are usually not wanted by most people. For example, avoid details about your last surgery, your ex and personal problems in general. If you are married, avoid ever using the word divorce unless you are dead serious and intend to go through with it. It is un-needed in any discussion and can only bring harm to a relationship.

Avoid personal questions

Avoid asking personal questions or answering them. My grown daughter told me she was going out, and I dumbly asked her where she was going. Realizing what I had done, I immediately said, “What am I doing? It is none of my business where you are going.” She then politely told me where she was going. It’s easy to ask personal questions before you think. So when you do, back out of it as quickly as possible and with an apology.

When someone asks you a personal question, just remember that you are not obligated to answer it. Neither do you have to be blunt with your answer. For example, if someone asks you what your salary is, you can say something like, “Well I wish I made more, but it is sufficient to meet my needs.” If someone asks you a personal sexual question, you can say, “I’m sorry but it makes me uncomfortable to talk about my sex life.” Politics, religion or any subject can be answered in a tactful way in order to change the direction of the conversation.

Avoid political discussions

People become very defensive and argumental about their political convictions. We live in a free country where everyone has a right to their own views. So it is better to acknowledge that right and leave others be when it comes to their political views. You will not come out a winner if you argue, but you could ruin the conversation and maybe lose a friend. If someone asks you what you think about the president, for example, you can truthfully say that being president is a very difficult job and it is impossible to please everyone. If you are in a group and really begin to criticize the president, someone in that group is likely to be offended. Your opinion is not what matters anyhow, it is your vote at the ballot box.

Avoid religious discussions

Avoid religious discussions when they lead to disagreements and arguments. Our nation was established on the premise of freedom of religion, and regardless what you may think about someone’s religion, it is their right to have it, and disagreeing and criticizing them will not make them see things your way; it will only cause hard feelings, ruin the conversation or perhaps end a relationship.

Avoid criticism

I bought a beautiful new truck one time, and when a relative saw it for the first time he began to tell me what a bad truck that particular brand was. Even if he hated the truck, he didn’t have to tell me and really he could have found something to like about it if it was only the color. When someone pays thousands of dollars for an automobile, they buy what they like and it sure does not endear them to you to criticize it. If you can’t complement something, it best to say nothing, or change the subject because otherwise the conversation is going south quickly.

Conclusion

Use some wisdom in your choice of words if you desire to be a good conversationalist, make friends and have people eager to talk with you. There is a saying I heard years ago, “If you say everything you think, you will wind up with no one to say it to.”

About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a motivational speaker and author who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website, Website Contents , in your person growth. Be sure to take vantage of the FREE offer to get the eBook “The 4 Pillars for Personal Development” while available.

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