The First Step in Building New Relationships – Remembering Names
Written by Jimmie Burroughs 
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Written by Jimmie Burroughs; Email to a friend
Remembering and calling people by their name
There are a lot of people whom simply cop out on remembering names by saying: “I just can’t remember names.” Do you know why you can’t remember names if you are one of those who say they can’t? Ask yourself, “Am I interested in remembering names?” “Am I shy about calling people by their names when I first meet them?” “Am I interested in learning how to remember names?” If your answer to the first two questions is yes, that is a compelling reason why you can’t remember names. If your answer to the third question is yes, there is no reason why that you can’t learn to be highly proficient at remembering names. Take time to learn and practice the five principles below for remembering names.
My friend was telling me a funny story about himself. He said that he was talking to someone that he had just met when his son-in-law walked up. Out of courtesy he turned to introduce him when suddenly he realized that couldn’t remember his name, although he had been his son-in-law for a number of years. To add some humor to an otherwise embarrassing situation, he said to his son-in-law, “What’s your name now?” His son-in-law grinned as he repeated his name, and they all had a laugh.
Most of us have mental blocks from time to time, but usually the reason we can’t remember a person’s name is because we have not done our due diligence to remember it in the first place.
A young man who worked for me, that I was teaching the business, once said. I notice that you always call a person by their name as soon as you meet them. I replied that it was one of the simple rules to grow any business.
Numerous business deals and possible romances have failed to blossom because a name couldn’t be remembered at the appropriate. The information age of today gives little excuse for not knowing something about the people we meet. Not in every case, but many times that person will be on Facebook or Twitter. Sometimes you can Google a person’s name and find information about them. In just a few minutes, you can know how to spell and articulate their name, and a little something about them. Being able to address a person using their name the next time you meet them, and pronounce it correctly makes a powerful impression and can set you apart as more than just the average person.
Dale Carnegie, in his popular book “How to win friends and influence people,” said that a person’s name is the sweetest word in the English language to them. That being true, it should give all of us a clue as to how crucial it is to remember names and to use them without hesitation.
Remember that it is also beneficial to remember the person’s face, so study it as you talk with them. Are there particular features that you can associate with their name; if there are this will benefit you significantly in assigning the right name to the right face. Also try to associate their name with someone else that you know. I recently met a man, in Florida, whose name was Russ. I immediately told him that my father-in-law’s name was Russ and I started calling him Russ for the remainder of our conversation. I’ve had no trouble remembering his name since, and I’ve seen him several times, but he is yet to call me by my name.
We all have to work at remembering names because it doesn’t come natural to most of us. One of the first obstacles to overcome is the tendency not to pay attention when you first hear a new name. Often the reason for that is that our mind is overloaded with the emotional and visual impact of meeting someone that we haven’t seen or known before. There are some simple and easy ways to help you remember the names of those you meet for the first time. Sometime we have to trick the mind into doing what we want, so here are five tricks that you may use that work:
Repeat the person’s name in your mind when you first hear it over and over. Repetition helps the brain to get a solid reference on how the name sounds and how it is pronounced. If you didn’t quite get their name the first time, ask then to say it again . . . People don’t mind at all to repeat their name. It gives them the impression that you are interested in them. Be sure to repeat their name aloud at once; for example: “It is a pleasure to meet you Bill.” No one is going to be offended if you use their name right off. They prefer that you call them by their name and remember their name.
Make an association. The best associations are those that have some reference to the person. I met a man once whose name was Mr. Earnest lane. By the way, that was more than 30 years ago, and I haven’t seen him in about that long, but I still remember his name. He had been an Olympic runner, so I pictured him, much in earnest, practicing running up and down the relatively long lane that led up to his home.
Outrageous associations work the best because they are easier for the brain to recall. For instance, if the name is Alice, you can imagine Alice skipping down a path made of gold bricks, with giant sunflowers bordering each side, and with her dressed in some outlandish garb associated with Alice in wonderland.
There are many associations you can make, but be sure you separate the association from the person’s name. It would be embarrassing to call a person by the association rather than their name.
When you walk away from the person that you just met, write their name down so you can refresh your memory later. The mind has a tendency to forget things in the first few minutes, so if that is the case, you have a hard copy to retrieve the name.
Create a sentence using a person’s name that includes something about them; it can be true, but doesn’t have to be. For instance: Bill Brown is a cashier at the local Kroger; sometimes he totals my grocery bill, and he lives in a brown brick house, in Providence sub-division, along with his wife and his nine year old son Bill Jr. Picture it vividly in your mind, Bill standing behind the register handing you your grocery bill then jerking it back again. Then visualize his house as being and unusually ugly brown brick with the bricks all jumbled together and the mortar is also brown and is running down the face of the bricks rather than being neatly laid brick as normal. The crazier your description, the better your mind will remember.
Be sure that before the conversation ends that you still remember the person’s name. If, for any reason, the person’s name has slipped your memory, don’t be afraid of asking them to repeat their name. Just say, “I apologize, I seemed to have forgotten your name. Would you mind telling me once more?” They will not mind to repeat it.
Master a few of these tricks and you will be surprised how much easier it becomes to remember that person’s name you just met the next time you see them.
Conclusion
As a word of caution, don’t overuse a person’s name when you first meet them; just use it as you would have typically used anyone’s name in a conversation. It is better remembering both first and last names, but if you don’t think that you can, then concentrate on their first name; sometimes it’s more appropriate to say Mr. Brown rather than Bill unless they request that you call them by their first name.
Remember, it takes time to learn new techniques, so don’t be discouraged if you aren’t an expert when you first try. If you’re determined, in time you will become an expert, and your ability to remember names will set you apart from most others.
About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is an author, motivational speaker, and child of God who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website ( Website Contents ) in your personal growth. If I can help you personally, please send your concerns via Contact me.
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