Attract Success by Becoming a Better Person

“We attract success by the person we become,” – Jim Rohn.

Step #1: Enter into a relationship with God.

What does it mean to enter into a relationship with God? Entering into a relationship with God is only the beginningof a relationship that lasts the rest of your life on earth and continues throughout all eternity with God in heaven. Life on earth is a time of learning more about God through the Bible and experiences. The Bible is filled with the record of women and men who have walked closely with God and experienced His presence in the dangers of life and His help in times of need. Some of those even had an audible talk with God and were given instructions from Him to carry out His will. God still speaks to His children today in a small inward voice to direct their lives and fulfill His will. 

           Of all the things a person can do to become a better person, a relationship with God is by far the most important. People often have managers, life coaches, and movie stars have directors. God wants to be a director of our lives. He knows more about us than we know about ourselves since He is the one who designed and created us. He wants us to be the best person possible and is willing to help us get there. There is no other way to reach the heights that He can achieve in the lives of those who commit themselves to Him. 

At the very inception of our relationship with God, He gives us the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which is God himself in His spiritual Form. That means we have the most powerful force in the universe. That is why the Apostle Paul was able to say, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me,” Philippians 4:13. That means there is no limitation to fulfilling God’s will for our lives, which includes the best person we can become. God manifested Himself in the flesh, Jesus Christ, to make way for us to have a relationship with Him. Jesus gave His life on the cross to pay our sin debt to provide forgiveness. This article is published on Good Friday, the day we keep in memory the death of Christ and then on Easter Sunday a memory of His resurrection. His resurrection gives those who believe the assurance and the promise of their resurrection should they die before He returns.

We receive His communications through the Holy Spirit and witness His work on our behalf. We are encouraged and made to admire His works and delight in them; it becomes the source of our happiness and the very hope of our future. He is our strength to face life, our resolution to fight the fight of faith and live a life of obedience to Him. The result is not an outward façade, but an inward direction Godward as His nature comes manward. That is what it means to experience a relationship with God.

The Bible and prayer are where we meet God, and He speaks to us, and we speak back to Him. When we are down and discouraged, God’s word reminds us: “Don’t be discouraged, Don’t be dismayed, Fear not, I’ll be with you wherever you go,” Isaiah 41:10. We can walk moment by moment with God knowing he loves us and takes care of us the rest of our lives.

Step # 2: Expand your social circle and develop relationships.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something; they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” — Anthony Robbins.

Money and material things are inferior to relationships. One of the best places to find new friends and build lasting relationships among those with high personal qualities is in a Bible-believing church. Strive to make relationships with those who pull you to a higher level rather than those who pull you down to a lower level.

13 Ingredients for building a lasting Relationships

1. Having a relationship with God first helps in developing a relationship with others.
2. Learn how to have a good conversation with others.
3. Show gratitude to others when appropriate.
4. Be Pleasant and easy to be around.
5. Build Trust and Honesty.
6. Show Willingness to Forgive. 
7. Give others emotional Support when needed. 
8. Express Humor.
9. Celebrate the Achievements of others. 
10. Show compassion for others. 
11. Share Interests and show interest. 
12. Avoid condemning, complaining, and criticizing.
13. Show Respect and Appreciation for others

     A life without relationships is not a quality life; it is only existence. Even though building relationships require work, it is worth every effort.

Step # 3: Learn to have a magnetic personality.

The following are eight characteristics of a magnetic personality. You may recognize some of them in your personality; you can add others with effort.

1. Being non-confirmative: I was unaware that this personality trait was included in those traits counted as a magnetic personality until I read a report that stated it was. It is also the #1 desired trait among both women and men. Again, that took me by total surprise. I’ve never considered myself magnetic in any sense of the word, but all my life, I have been a non-conformist. As I read through the list that describes a magnetic personality, I discovered several more characteristics that are mine. You probably can do the same. The point is we can further enhance our personality, which was once believed impossible.
2. Being a Real, Authentic person: You no doubt have met people who seemed so phony that turned you off. Those who have magnetic personalities are never fake. What you see is what you get from them. They realize that they don’t have to fake it; it would only lower their standard to no advantage. because magnetic personalities enjoy being who they are.
3. Magnetic personalities have Strong Self-Confidence: Magnetic personalities don’t have to inflate who they are. They know who and what they are and have no illusions about themselves. They are well aware of their strengths and weaknesses and pay no attention to false criticism. They accept rejection when it comes their way and continue with their life. If they fail, they chalk it up as a lesson for what doesn’t work.
4. Magnetic personalities have a great sense of Humor: Magnetic personalities put people around them at ease with their light sense of Humor. They don’t take advantage of others to get laughs, and neither do they need to put themselves down for the sake of Humor?
5. Magnetic personalities are Optimistic about life: They do not criticize those who are negative, but they do not allow them to influence their personal thinking negatively; they can see good things in life while not allowing bad things to get them down.
6. Magnetic personalities are energetic and live to the fullest: Magnetic personalities are interested in using their energy to learn new things and help others be better people. They strive to make life better for themselves and those around them.
7. Magnetic personalities are good listeners: They listen to others and understand what they are saying without being judgmental.
8. Magnetic personalities Empathize with others when they can: They find it easy to show compassion when someone is hurting and try to comfort them without using worn-out cliches. They are quick to understand and validate the feelings of others while encouraging them. They are willing to help out when they can.

Step # 4: Develop a new positive worldview.

The Apostle Paul gave the essence of what it means to have the right kind of world view: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God,” Romans 12:2.

There are two kinds of world views, a secular world view and a Christian world view. A secular worldview is based on worldly principles and can be challenging and disappointing because the world is filled with false and sometimes ungodly philosophies. A Christian worldview is based on the truth of God, who created and owns the world. Many do not realize that their worldview has been developed from childhood and is affected by the world, the media, and other influences. Secularization depends on tradition and principles of the world rather than on the God of the Bible. The Bible warns us of falling captive to the world’s philosophy: “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ,” Colossians 2:8.

The Christian worldview is developed by diligently learning God’s word, the Bible, and applying it to our lives, trusting God in all things, at work, at home, or anywhere we go. There is a great spiritual battle going on in the world all around us, and it requires those who are believers developing a comprehensive solid faith to stand against the wiles of the Devil, who is the instigator of the battle. Dealing with the unrelenting tide of nonbiblical ideas in our culture that confront us every day depends on embracing God’s Christian worldview. We need godly convictions concerning questions on abortion, same-sex marriage, and media choices such as movies and television programs. The kind of person we become is determined by our decisions and our resulting actions.

Step # 5: Increase your emotional intelligence

What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to control your emotions and feelings and recognize and gauge the emotions of others; this enables you to weigh your emotions and then act rationally. Had Will Smith had this ability, he would have likely performed much differently at the Academy Awards and saved himself a lot of embarrassment and grief. He was outwitted by his emotions and thoughts and therefore acted irrationally. Emotional intelligence enables you to be in control of your emotions and feelings at all times and can save careers, relationships, and marriages. Improving your emotional intelligence is well worth the time and effort.

Emotional intelligence helps to deal with problems resulting from others behavior. Our natural response to someone’s bad behavior is that the person ought to change, but in reality, most people won’t change unless they decide to on their own. If we continue to focus on another person’s behavior, it only increases our frustration. The Psychological term for this is “expectancy-reality-discrepancy.” It is irrational to expect others to change; we therefore, must find a solution separate from the source of the problem. There is a rule to help us: “Instead of dwelling on what you can’t change, focus on what you can.” 

Those with high emotional intelligence are considered genuine, trustworthy, and dependable. So how do you know if you have emotional intelligence? Listed below are ten characteristics to help you to discern if you have it or teach you how to gain it if you don’t: 

1. You have social skills: You know how to treat people in any setting. You know the principles of good etiquette and use them. You are always polite. 
2. You are Self-regulating:  You control what you say and how you say it. It would also help if you never used expletives to express yourself. 
3. You are self-aware: You can perceive your emotions for what they are without them overcoming you. Then you know how to evaluate and manage them positively before they become destructive and cause you or someone else harm.
4. You choose how to respond without reacting: You know when something is important enough to respond to and when it isn’t.
5. You’re a skilled listener: You know how to keep your mouth shut and listen to understand rather than formulate a response; this enables you to read the emotions of others. When what you hear is upsetting, you know how to avoid an adverse emotional reaction. 
6. You can read people like a book: You observe facial expressions, body movements, and hand gestures when engaging in conversation. You can quickly decern how someone is feeling and the best way to respond or not respond at all.
7. You avoid acting by impulse: You think first, then respond accordingly. By doing so, you avoid what can be a bad situation.
8. You have compassion for others and show empathy: Sometimes others have reasons unknown to you why they say and do the things they do, and sometimes they say hurtful things in anger that they don’t mean.
9. You are Motivated to search for what is correct and try to avoid that which is wrong: When you hear or see someone saying or doing something wrong, you don’t add another wrong by saying or doing something you should not say or do or by being critical or condemning.
10. You consider others’ feelings and convictions: Everyone is different, and everyone has the right to their beliefs even if they are wrong. You will not likely change anyone’s mind by arguing or using hateful words, but you can hurt their feelings or lose their friendship by what you say or do.

Step # 6: Develop better communication skills.

To develop good communication skills, you have to first become a good listener taking a genuine interest in what others have to say, and especially responding to them in an unoffensive way. That is just a start because good communication requires several skills. Below, there are seven mentioned;

1. Be an active listener. What is active listening? Active listening when someone is talking to you, is being truly present and engaged so that you can actively hear what is being said. It involves being part of someone else’s story, while putting aside your own judgments and opinions, and attentively listening to what is being said. An active listener not only hears what is being said but also understands. Be sure to acknowledge from time to time that you are paying attention by nodding or verbally agreeing. Be careful that you are not conveying negative images by facial expression or body language.
2. Get to the Point Quickly and Concisely: Excessive talk only muddles the conversation. Being direct, clear, and to the point in what you say ensures your listener understands what you are saying; avoiding words and terms that others might not understand promotes good rapport between speaker and the audience.
3. The Pitch and Tone of your voice need to be clear and audible: If you sound harsh or rude, it will be a turnoff to your listeners. It is also essential to avoid a monotone by raising and lowering your voice.
4. Choose the right words for the subject: Using big words that are not familiar to most should be avoided. A good speaking range to an audience or one-on-one is on a sixth-grade level; this ensures that everyone understands clearly.
5. Be sure you are well prepared and know what you are talking about if you expect the empathic attention of others: Be sensitive to the moods of your listeners. Let your communication complement them. Never appear to know it all or know the answer to every question. If you don’t know the answer, say I don’t know.
6. Be knowledgeable but also modest: What you say to others is not to impress them about yourself but to help them understand something, motivate them, and help them. Conviction and confidence in what you say impresses others to believe what you say. If you are a leader, your responsibility is to persuade people to be the best they can become in what they do.
7. Speak in the other person’s interest and make them feel included: If you are speaking to a person or more than one person, look each one in the eye from time to time, so they think they are part of a one-on-one conversation. Give others a chance to respond to what you are saying. People have a need to be recognized and included. Interaction is better than a lecture on most occasions.

The bottom line to good communication is listening and connecting with the person or persons to whom you are conversing. Try some of these tips the next time you talk with someone and see how effective they are. We are all at different stages of development, but none of us are all that we can become. With a bit of effort, we can continue our journey to becoming a better person and attracting more success.