How to Deal with Despair and Overcome it
We all have stressors, which are normal responses to those things which worry us or cause anxiety; for example, the loss of a job can be a stressor; it, as well as other stressors, can cause stress; the more the stressors, the more the stress. Stress can affect emotions, the physical, or both. When a potential threat or problem is identified, a chain reaction begins in the brain; the sympathetic nervous system is activated, which results in stress hormones and chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol being pumped into the bloodstream; Breathing increases, and the heart rate and feelings of restless energy are quickened with increased mental alertness. This causes a “fight or flight” response.
In response to common everyday threats or problems, the positive side of stress can work to solve the problem by providing energy, motivation, and focus. This kind of stress is called “eustress.” On the other hand, when the stress response happens in response to uncontrollable circumstances, for example, war or violence in general, it can be experienced as distress, which affects a person’s physical and mental health.
Distress includes circumstances that can be both internal and external and that are challenging, upsetting, or scary. The internal stressors include distressful thoughts or memories or extreme external events; this can cause physical pain or discomfort and can also affect the emotions causing anger, sadness, or both. Any situation or circumstance that can potentially negatively impact a person or something they care about is an external stressor. In summary, distress describes a negative form of stress associated with the feeling of being overwhelmed and anxious, which produces physical and psychological symptoms like irritability, tension, headaches, insomnia, etc.
I think we can now understand by the definitions above that plenty of circumstances and events can cause distress in our world today. So, since destress is inevitable, and we cannot do away with it or even reduce its duration, our best action is to learn how to deal with it and overcome it. The purpose of this article is to help provide information to do that. I think the best approach comes from information provided by the Bible.
King David is an example of someone experiencing distress even though he was described in the Bible as a man after God’s own heart. We read in Psalm 13:1-6 how he overcame the world, including the destress it brought: “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; 4my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 5But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” In times of darkness and distress, Micah, the Old Testament prophet reinforces what David said: “Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” Micah 7:8.
Notice the first question King David asked, which he asked four times in the first two verses of the passage above: “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” When we face times of despair in our lives, the first question we probably ask is how long it will last.
So, how long can we expect despair to last? That is unknown because it lasts different lengths of time depending on the events that cause it and the person experiencing it. Using hyperbole, David wanted to know if his despair would last forever in verse one. When we are in despair, it may seem like it goes on forever, but despair can inevitably last a long time.
We may pray for God to get us out of our despair now, but David, in his despair, prayed differently. He asked God to give him light; “give me light to my eyes.” In other words, David prays to see as God sees. He is saying, God, please help me to see things correctly; otherwise, in my eyes, I can only see my death and my enemy saying I have overcome him, or my enemies rejoicing when I fall.
It is not our circumstances that need changing as much as we need changing. That is how David is praying. Please give me a new set of eyes to see things as they are and not through a glass darkly.
How can we deal with despair since we may be living with it for a while? David decided that he would do three things in verses 5-6:
1. “But I trust in your unfailing love.” God loves us in all situations, and we can count on Him when everything else fails. He is there to help us and even lift us when we fall.
So, what does the Bible have to say about God’s love? First of all, God’s love is from the Greek word “agape,” which is a supernatural form of love. God’s love takes on many forms throughout scripture. God is even referred to as love; “God is love.” God’s love wants the best for all His children. God loves you for no other reason than He loves you; it is not because of the work we do to try to gain His affection. God pours out His love on you even when you may not be showing your love to Him.
Paul, in Romans 8:37-39, describes the depth of God’s love: “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
2. “My heart rejoices in your salvation:” David rejoiced in his salvation even before the destress was gone. Perhaps David was showing the same attitude as that of Habakkuk, another Old Testament saint, who was living in distressful times, so he turned to God and said, “Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls; 18Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. 19The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet. And he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments. Habakkuk 3:17-19.
3. “For He has been good to me:” “The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him,” Nahum 1:7. God is with us in the day of our trouble. We can always trust Him in all things because He has a plan for our lives that surpasses our imagination. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you,” Jeremiah 29:11-12. We need to thank God for all He has already done for us. “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever. 2Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. 3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever,” Psalm 136:1-3. Thank God each morning you awake. Thank Him for His many blessings. Thank Him for His guidance in your life and His protection. Ask God for the strength to follow His will.
It is common to let despair cause us to fear the present and the future, but it can also cause us to forget the past. Take the time to recall the good things God has done. When we consider what God has already done for us, we can join King David to praise the Lord: “Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits– 3who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. 6The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed,” Psalm 103:1-6.
Paul, the author of 14 of the New Testament books, suffered distress on many occasions, but he accepted whatever happened to him as God’s will. He said, “And we know that all things work together for good that loves God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” In 2 Corinthians 1:8, He said, “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so we despaired even of life.” Paul could not endure the extreme pressure he felt on his own, and therefore, he was content being a prisoner of the Lord and giving the responsibility to Him for His life.
Paul gave us his formula for dealing with stress and overcoming it in 2 Corinthians 4:6-18: That is quite a long passage, but it is worth your reading: “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12So then death worketh in us, but life in you. 13We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;14Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. 15For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. 16For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
What a difference it would make in our life if we, like Paul, could refocus on the treasures inside rather than the troubles outside. All life is an empty jar made of clay until filled with the presence of Almighty God, and there is no peace or lasting purpose outside of Him. The treasure that Paul is speaking of is the presence of the Lord living inside, bringing us the abundant life, the life Jesus spoke of as His purpose for coming to earth: “I am come that ye may have life and have it more abundantly.” We all will despair at times, but God will help us overcome when we depend on Him.
Conclusion: Remember, God’s love endures forever. He loves us in our despair, which is part of living on this earth. Through it all, He wants us to trust Him, depend upon Him, and Praise Him in everything. Paul, who experienced the good and the bad in life, learned from his experiences to be content regardless of what life brought his way. He said, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” Philippians 4:11. The only way to deal with distress and overcome it is when we, like Paul, decide that it no longer matters what trials we face; they are only temporal, and in Paul’s words, “light affliction,” but our focus is on those things which are eternal. For example, that time in the future when we who believe and trust in Jesus shall rule and reign with Him on this earth for a glorious thousand years, and then when that time is over, we shall go with Him into the heavenly age for all eternity.