6 Steps to Overcome Anxiety
Disclaimer: The following steps on overcoming anxiety are not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you have lingering bouts of Anxiety, I encourage you to seek the help of mental health professional. This article is about the usual kind of Anxiety we all experience and how we can take steps to overcome it.
“It is conditioned into you as being better to keep your head down, and sulk and complain like everyone else than to tap into your inner state of bliss. And making changes often requires courage — courage that you don’t want to expend. Your ego tells you, ‘Better to be miserable, get all of this attention lavished on me, and not have to do anything about changing my life. I’ll just sit in this dark, dirty, bliss-eroding little ditch I’ve carved out for myself. This will be much easier. And yet, it isn’t. It takes more effort to be miserable than it does to allow yourself to wake up and remember how nothing is holding you back from bliss other than your mind,’”
– Jordan Gray.
Step 1. Pray.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” Philippians 4:6-7.
Anxiety is an emotion God gave us to protect us from harm; it was never intended to be your decision-maker. If your Anxiety wants to lead you down a path of worry and fear, don’t allow it; that is not what Jesus had in mind for you. He came to earth and died on the cross to free you from the bondage of sin and to give you an abundant life. Jesus said, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly,” John 10:10.
Just one prayer to Him can change everything, but you must be willing to cooperate with Him by doing what you can to change your direction. Some direction changes are listed in this article if you are ready to get serious with God and let Him do His work in your life.
Today, right this minute, you can begin praying over your Anxiety. Your sincere prayer includes trusting God with tomorrow and releasing your worry and fear to Him. God loves you and has a plan for your life that does not include excessive Anxiety, worry, and fear, but we must trust Him first for His plan to work for us.
You may think that your situation is different and that it would be impossible for you to change. Andrew Murray, the famous Scottish minister, said, “We have a God who delights in the impossibilities.” So, why not give God a chance to work in your life. As I said above, Jesus wants you to have an abundant life. Your mind and emotions can be like a thief who comes to steal your peace and joy and kill or destroy your effort to find any real meaning in your life.
Much more could be said about prayer and the success of many documented cases of answered prayer, but that is far too much to include in this short article. So, I will leave that up to you to discover.
Step 2. Change your perspective on life.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer.
“The world’s oldest person has celebrated her 119th birthday! Kane Tanaka was born in 1903 and keeps her mind sharp by studying math and waking up at 6AM. When asked about the secret to her longevity, Tanaka didn’t mention a dedicated workout routine or a specific eating plan. So, what has kept Tanaka inspired and motivated far past 100 years of age? According to her grandson, Eiji Tanaka, it’s not dwelling on the past, and instead focusing on the present moment. ‘I don’t remember her talking much about the past,’ he told CNN. ‘She’s very forward thinking—she really enjoys living in the present.’ Her family has also shared that said she keeps her mind and body engaged by doing math, calligraphy, and remaining curious. In fact, she worked in her family’s store until she was 103 years old. [1]
The practice of living in the present, just one day at a time, is one of the greatest ways to deal with anxiety. Worry over what has already happened and anxiety over what might happen in the future is the cause of much anxiety.
Another thing we need to change is considering something in the light of the other person’s perspective. Here is a good example: Two people stood opposite a number stamped on the floor. One person said it was a 9, while the other said it was a 6. The person that was open to seeing things from a different perspective walked around to the other person’s view of the number and then agreed that they both were right. Life is perceived different by different people.
Seeing things from a different perspective does not mean we always have to change our view and agree, especially if the other person’s perception of something is wrong. It allows the other person the freedom to have their viewpoint even when you know they are wrong. Depending on how emotionally stable the other person is, you may express your viewpoint. If they are open to change based on new information, then you have helped; if they are closed to change, don’t waste your time; change the subject.
Another advantage of seeing things with a new perspective is seeing difficulties as challenges to be overcome rather than impossibilities. Our view of life can either make or break us; the difference is a positive attitude over a negative one. A nasty or negative perspective on life affects everyone and everything around you. You become angry when you are criticized or have hurt feelings rather than carefully considering the criticism and then making a shift in your perspective or, if it is invalid, just ignoring it.
Changing your perspective on life gives you a great advantage. You are far more likely to see things from other people’s perspectives; when they are correct, it becomes an opportunity to grow and build a better relationship. A positive, open outlook on life opens up more opportunities to be happy and grateful, adding more fulfillment to your life.
Finally, here is an example of how different the perspective of a negative person who sees all the bad of life and is blind to that which is good; They may commit suicide or live a miserable life. The optimistic person, on the other hand, with some of the same experiences, sees that which is good in life and becomes an inspiration to others. Our perception of life determines the ability to live with meaning and purpose.
Finally, here is the reason that changing your perspective of life helps you to overcome anxiety: You change from a life of anxiety, fear, and worry to a new, positive attitude of living in calm, peace, and joy, which is God’s gift to those who will receive it. It is beginning each day as an alcoholic with the determination to go just one day without alcohol or, in your case, to go just one day living with God’s gift of calm, peace, and joy. It is being grateful to God for the gift of life and living it to the fullest.
A lady I know who is 84 said that she might not have many more days to live; she said half of her graduating class was already dead. I thought, how amazing that half is still living and not the negative that half were dead. It is like seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. We all are hanging to life by a thread. It is not how long you live; it is how well you lived. If you have only a few days to live, living them to the fullest is the important thing.
Step 3. Discover why you feel the way you do.
The way we think results in the way we feel. Don’t forget our feelings are not always true; they may lead us to believe untrue things and act irrationally. Unconfessed sin in our lives can affect our emotions and how we think. To think and consider the right things, we must first trust God and direct our love to Him. The first commandment is, “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” Matthew 22:37.
It is never easy to change our feelings, and you can’t just turn them off with the flip of a switch. If that were true, it would be a simple matter to overcome anything we face in life. Philippians 4:8 provides God’s way, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” In other words, when evil, hurtful thoughts enter the mind, we are to say “no” and replace them with those things mentioned in the verse above. That is not too hard to do, but it does take practice.
When we fill our minds with negative, untrue, evil thoughts, they take control of us; then we become bitter, fearful, and anxious because those are the thoughts we have in their minds. On the other hand, when our thoughts are positive, pure, and honorable, we, in short, behave the way we think.
Sometimes it is necessary to set standards to check our thoughts to see if they meet the test. We do this by taking time to assess our thoughts. We have a guide for that, Philippians 4:8 mentioned above. If our ideas don’t meet those standards, they need to be redirected or replaced. Here is a good guideline: It is not our biology (hereditary information encoded in genes), Acts we have committed, or the things that are done to us that determines our emotions or behavior; it is those things we love, fear, and desire the most. Love, for example, is a concern for the well-being of others; having feelings of tenderness, warmth, a oneness toward them; it is a kindness of the heart and appreciation and reverence for all life; and finally, best of all, the ability to see and trust God in all of His creation. The purest kind of love, agape love, is divine love which has its source in God, who is love. It is only found in those whose desire is in God, who accept Him and believe in Him through His Son Jesus Christ. That brings peace, and in turn, His love drives out fear.
Another aspect of understanding why we feel the way we do is when we feel hurt, which brings deep feelings of emotional pain; this is brought on when others seem to deliberately disrespect us by using unkind, cruel, nasty, mean, and hurtful words. When we take offense at what others say, it is an indication that our self-worth is dependent on what others think of us. To come to the root of how we feel, we must understand when others express this kind of behavior; it is evidence that they are the ones who have a problem with unsolved issues in their life. We need to be unaffected by their bad behavior and avoid the hurt they intend.
There are too many emotional issues to name them all in this brief article, but I think you get the jest of how we are to understand our emotional feelings and how we feel, and respond appropriately. In plain terms, it is our ability not to take offense to hurtful actions and behavior but to have a robust and reassuring evaluation of ourselves.
Step 4. Recognize Anxiety for what it is.
We must realize that reacting to non-harmful emotional stressors is harmful to our well-being. You might be wondering how do we overcome them? We may not be able to eradicate them completely, so we may have to learn to live with them without allowing them to dominate our thoughts and our life, which requires some discipline, practice, and a genuine trust in God for His supernatural power to help.
If we learn to recognize when an emotion or feeling stems from Anxiety, we can immediately pause what we are doing and order it to stop. If you are in a private place, you may shout, “I know what you are and you are not going to spoil my day;” this is placing a stop order on unwanted thoughts and emotions. Do this often enough, and your Anxiety will lose its power over you.
We must realize that reacting to non-harmful emotional stressors is harmful to our well-being. You might be wondering how do we overcome them? We may not be able to eradicate them completely, so we may have to learn to live with them without allowing them to dominate our thoughts and our life, which requires some discipline, practice, and a genuine trust in God for His supernatural power to help.
You can own your Anxiety if you set aside a few minutes each day to list each one of them and then take steps to deal with them. Make it a point to say, “I’m done worrying about these non-threatening emotional issues.”
Not all emotions are harmful; recognizing those that are and not reacting to them or internalizing them enables us to separate them from those emotions which help instead of injuring us. Believing the anxious feelings our mind conveys to us when they are untrue causes panic, eventually overcoming us and making us miserable.
Step 5. Don’t react to what others say.
Be aware when you are reacting instead of responding to the actions or words of someone else. Before replying, take the time to think instead of blurting out something you are likely to regret later. Listen to what Will Smith said via a statement published by The Hollywood Reporter: “My actions at the 94th Academy Awards presentation were shocking, painful, and inexcusable. The list of those I have hurt is long and includes Chris, his family, many of my dear friends and loved ones, all those in attendance, and global audiences at home.” That is a classic example of reacting to what someone says in a violent way that can come back to bit you.
It is common for people to blame others for their actions rather than assuming it themselves. Consider what is going on and respond as you choose, rather than reacting out of anger or self-defense. Actions without thinking have consequences that could even land you in prison. If you don’t think before you act, you allow others to control you and manipulate you. Avoid the spontaneous act of reacting rather than responding, and it will set you miles ahead of the average person and be in your best interest and also the other person’s.
It was once believed that venting your anger was the way of relieving yourself of it, but that has been scientifically proven to be false. Instead of reducing irritation, it exacerbates it and becomes addictive; the more a person vents their anger, the more they want to do it. The brain has neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections), and the more you express an emotion, the stronger and the more you will feel that emotion. The solution for those who have learned a better way is doing two things: First, dealing with what makes them angry. Second, accepting things as they are and making the best of them.
Step 6. Don’t be overly critical of yourself.
Being overly critical of yourself is a symptom of anxiety and other mental health issues. There is a form of constructive criticism that can be healthy when used appropriately and when it is not overly critical and harmful. At one end of the spectrum of how one views themself is low self-esteem, a low view of self, and on the other end of the spectrum is narcissism, an inflated view of self. When you’re overly critical of yourself, you might have unrealistic, unreasonable expectations, exaggerate the negatives, or be highly judgmental. On the other hand, narcissism is an unreal, exalted, egotistical view of one’s self. There needs to be a healthy balance between low self-esteem and narcissism.
How to Stop Being Overly Critical of Yourself
- Recognize the signs that you are being overly critical of yourself: Pay attention to the words you use, your thoughts, and your actions. Never put yourself down; you will get enough of that from others. You don’t have to be your own emotional bully. Instead, be kind to yourself and be your best friend.
- Learn to love yourself as a creation of God: “He that getteth wisdom loveth his soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good,” Proverbs 19:8. “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works;” Psalm 139:14. Self-love is a key to healthy self-esteem. Everyone has those things that might make them seem unlovable. However, those things can be improved with some effort. We need to consider the entire self and accept the way we are right now, which includes imperfections; then strive to become a better self. Let yourself be your best friend and enjoy being who you are; you are a unique creation in God’s image.
- Don’t dwell just on the negatives; see the positives also. Many good things around you might not be visible if a negative attitude blind you to them. Negative thoughts, when exaggerated, dull the mind to the positive. Be aware that you can’t always believe your negative thoughts because they distort the truth.
- Don’t be unreasonable in the expectations you have of yourself. It’s good to aim high but aim at the things within reach. Stop being a perfectionist and punishing yourself with an ideology that is impossible to reach. Nothing in humanity is perfect; perfection is only in God, and you are not God. Stop comparing yourself with others. None of us are the same. We have different gifts. We are not competing with anyone; each is on their own highway in life. The critical issue is that we are on the road that leads to life in God and not the broad road that leads to destruction.
- Quit letting your feelings and your thoughts be your guide. Feelings can be fickle, and emotions and ideas can be wrong. Pray for wisdom to guide your life in the right direction. If we become immersed in our feelings and emotions and let them direct our lives, our actions will be based on that alone. Try to be more objective, getting outside of yourself and seeing things from a rational point of view.
- Learn to recognize what is right and best for you; this requires becoming a better person. Rather than being judgmental of yourself for the mistakes you have made, learn from them and determine to do better next time. What many fail to realize is that mistakes and failures are opportunities to grow. Instead of beating up on yourself, ask yourself, how can I learn from this to do better. Confront your anxiety by getting out of your comfort zone and facing it head-on, which can be significant progress in overcoming it.
- Change the way you look at yourself. It is distorted thinking to consider yourself dumb, ugly, or worthless. You are not those things. You are a unique person who can do those things which God has enabled you to do and add your contribution to society that no one else but you can.
Conclusion
This article has dealt with everyday anxiety, which we all experience to different degrees. Anxiety is a highly subjective human emotion. While normal anxiety is a God-given aid in responding to various events in life, it can also cause misery and suffering when in excess. This article is an overview of the symptoms and how to maintain or overcome them by managing them; this has been effective for many who are now functioning more normally and enjoying a rewarding and satisfying way of living. The future remains optimistic for those who struggle with severe anxiety. There is hope that future advancements in the understanding and treatment of anxiety disorders will continue to advance and bring hope to those affected by these disorders.
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