Purpose

Discovering Your Purpose in Life

January 9, 2011 /

By Jimmie Burroughs

Discovering our purpose or why we are here on this earth is the first thing we need to do before we can commence to reach our potential in personal development. This requires some soul searching and it also requires emptying our minds of a lot of programming that hinders us from reaching our full potential.

It is of an essence first of all to understand that there is no single formula that will work for everyone; there are personal development principles but different applications. For years I did personal counseling and when someone came to me with a problem, I could often identify with it but I could not lay out for them the same formula that I used to solve their problem because they were a different personality and therefore needed to come upon a solution that would not conflict with their personality.

This also applies to success; what I consider success may not at all give the same feeling of accomplishment to another person. We make a mistake by setting our aspirations on other models thinking that if we could just be like them that we would indeed be successful and reach fulfillment. Society has set the status quo for success and that is why many times when people reach it they discover that it leaves them feeling empty. We may ask why? When they have reached the top both professionally and monetarily and still feel unfulfilled. The answer is that we are all different and see things entirely different and therefore what may be true success and completely fulfilling for me may not be true at all for someone else.

We need first to discover who we are and and what our purpose is then make our quest for personal development and success based on our own needs, expectations and goals. Our personality type has its own set of priorities which means that different activities will give different people a different feeling. For one it may be fulfillment and happiness while for another it would only bring misery. This I’ve said to awaken you to the fact that you need to discover yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and your attributes then you will be able to strengthen your weaknesses and build upon your strengths. Remember that you are a unique person. We all are different and that is good for how boring it would be if we were all the very same. We can indeed complement each other because of our differences.

What’s Important to You?

We should not fall into the status quo trap and try to structure our life on what others feel that is important or what they may consider to be a success. Self-knowledge is the key here; determine what it is that brings fulfillment to you. For example I once saw a documentary of a man who moved to Alaska in desolate place to spend 3 years alone studying how it was to live a primitive lifestyle and after the 3 years were up he was so fascinated by it that he remained for another 32 years, living alone, studying nature and filming his discoveries. Now I tell you that I know for sure that that sort of thing would not be right for me but the point is that we are all different.

No one formula fits us all. Recently I talked with someone who just could not understand why anyone would do a certain thing because they would not think of it. That is about as narrow minded as you can possibly get. Because we see something a certain way does not mean that everyone else should see it that way also; in fact our view may be the view of a very small minority

Recently I found an almost new pair of Allen Edmonds shoes at the Goodwill Store. The retail price new is $335 but I paid $5, what a find. The point is that they fit me because they were size 11 but they would have been absolutely worthless to someone with an 8 or 13 shoe size. When we try to fit ourselves into the same mold or formula for success that someone else is using, it often will be just as worthless.

Don’t cover up your weakness or hide behind them

We are not all suited for the same thing. I love music and love playing the guitar but I realize that I am not musically inclined or gifted and therefore it would be foolish for me to build my hopes around becoming a world renowned musician; it just is not going to happen. On the other hand I do have a gift for writing and love to do it, therefore that is what I pursue and I use music as my hobby and that gives me purpose and fulfillment. The knowledge about ourselves is a key to opening a door for personal growth.

Once we begin to discover who we are, then it helps us to better understand why others react differently to different situations the way they do. It becomes empowering for us to better deal with various personality types. This enables us to accept people though their behavior is entirely different from our own. This alone would save a lot of marriages.

There is also a downside to becoming fully aware of who we are and our personality type. It makes it easy for us to hide behind it to excuse our own behavior by thinking that it is just how we are. We might even excuse a bad temper because it runs in the family but there is no excuse for bad behavior regardless of our personality type. We may reason how others behave but we cannot apply that same reasoning to ourselves that is if we want to grow in our personal development. We are not responsible for others behavior but we are for our own.

Some may use the excuse for their poor choices by saying, “Well everybody else is doing it, why not me?”  In the first place, everyone else is not doing it but even if they were it still is no excuse for me. Today two thirds of Americans are overweight but that is no excuse for me not keeping my weight under control. When we use the above rationalization for our behavior it reinforces weakness which in turn makes us become weaker and weaker instead of building up our strength and resistance.

Balance is the key

I said earlier that some excuse their bad temper on an inherited trait but what often happens is that their bad temper becomes an overpowering force which overtakes their personality and subdues other features that never have an opportunity to grow and develop to their potential. Those other drives like kindness, courtesy, good manners are subdued by the bad temper which produces rudeness, bad manners, insensitivity to others, domineering, ruthlessness and many other undesirably attributes. We all have a temper; it is a human drive but one that must be kept in its place and not allowed to take us over and rule our life.

It is true that we have our own personal needs and we should address those needs but at the same time there is a balance here that needs to be recognized and that is that others also have needs that need fulfilling. If my attention is solely upon myself and what I want and what I need, I become a selfish, self-centered individual. This sort of attitude becomes an overpowering problem in relationships and is especially true in a marital union. It is in fact a great hindrance in all relationships.

Personal development takes the spotlight off of us personally and focuses it on others. The question is no longer, how can I get all I need; how can I get the recognition that I deserve, the respect, the gratitude but now it is in helping others with no expectation of anything in return. Even Jesus the Lord and master of everything said, “I came not to be served but to serve others”.

While it is true that our personality does have dominant features and that is good, “Where there is no leader the people fail” but wisdom tells us it is better not to go it alone but also depend on the guidance of the other advisors. The president of the United States is the most powerful figure in the world but at the same time he has a cabinet of advisors who help him day in and day out to make the difficult decisions. Together their interest is in how to best serve the people who elected them as leader. The dark side of this is a leader that thinks only of himself with no concern for those who follow his leadership but his entire existence is focused only on himself and his own wants and needs; he only wants to be served without any thought of serving others. Balancing our personality is acknowledging our strong attributes while developing the weaker ones all working in unity to bring about our full potential as a human being with an innate desire to help others to do the same.

Time to enter into the door

Now that we have gained insight into our personality, our weaknesses and our strengths, how do we enter in to that door that will lead us to our full potential  and to the success that we long for? I wish I could tell you that there is a quick and easy way but there is not. When you decide that it is time to change your life and to dig your way out of the morass of false and untruth that the world has implanted into your mind, then you must be prepared for a personal development campaign that will last for the rest of your life. You need to burn the bridges behind you and determine that there is no turning back. This journey is not just an emphasis on a single issue but it encompasses our entire being, body, soul and spirit. I will be including articles on each of these three parts of our existence in the future

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