Does the Bible Command a Wife to be Submissive to Her Husband?

Written by Jimmie Burroughs

“The man was made out of Adam’s side. She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.” – Matthew Henry 

So, the question is, does a wife have to submit to her husband? The answer is NO! It is strictly voluntary. Even though Ephesians 5:22–24 sounds much like a command: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Actually, it is a guideline for the kind of marriage God ordains and blesses. There is a very good reason for knowing that the above verse is for guidance only; the proof is found in 1 Corinthians 11:3: “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Christ was in submission to God the Father but not because He had to, because He was equal in the Godhead; He did so voluntarily, so, it is with the woman. If she is to honor the chain of command that God ordained, and is devoted to her husband, she voluntarily submits to the leadership of her own husband. Notice, to her own husband, and that does not apply to society in general. She is not obligated to be submissive to other men because she is a female.

This is God’s chain of command. It is not a chain of superiority. Woman is equal to Man as Christ is equal to God. The following verse supports this: [Jesus] “Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:” Philippians 2:6 KJV. Submission is never to be demanded. God does not demand our submission to Him, though He has every right to do so, since we are His creation. God gave us freedom to choose to love Him and to serve Him. That equally holds true to a wife. She has the freedom to choose to be submissive to her husband and must never be forced. If the Husband truly loves his wife, as the Lord loved the church, she will, in most cases, out of her innate intuition, submit to her loving and faithful husband.

“Hupotasso” is the Greek word translated submit. It not only is an action word but also the continuing form of the verb. It is the action we take toward God, pastor, husband and the government, and it is not just a one-time act. It is the form of attitude that continues and forms a pattern of behavior. It means to “stay in your place.” When I served in the military, I learned there was an order of command from the sergeant all the way up to general, and even the general was under the command of the chief executive, the President of the United States.

Every organization or institution needs a leader. The President of the United States is the leader of our country, but he is not a dictator. Even though he is the leader, he answers to the people who elected him to that position and counsels with advisors to determine the best direction to lead the country. Also, just because he serves in a high position does not make him on a higher standard than those he governs, in God’s sight. So, it is with the husband and wife. The husband is the head of the wife in God’s plan but not superior to her as a person. Any wise husband would listen to a wife’s suggestions on the direction of the marriage and the plans for the family. They should work in harmony to make the best plans in the interest of the entire family. They are equals with different obligations and responsibilities.

The Bible is very clear in Galatians 3:28 concerning equality: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” In other words, God looks upon all His creation as equals. Position is a different subject. Those who are in a position of authority should be respected for their position. “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God,” Romans 13:1-7. The point is, God ordained a chain of command for man’s benefit. When there are no authoritative leadership things get out of control and go askew. This is also true of an individual who does not take rulership over his own actions: “He that [hath] no rule over his own spirit [is like] a city [that is] broken down, [and] without walls,” Proverbs 25:28. Rule of authority is even more important in a family setting or any organization in fact.

Now that we have clarified the standing of the woman, we must also understand that submission is an important issue in relation to marriage when it is applied according to Scripture. The old school of thought defined woman’s position as being under the command of the man to obey his every beckoning. The truth is, that is not the way God designed the woman. Naturally and innately, woman is designed to respond to a man. For example, the Scripture teaches “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it,” Ephesians 5:25. Not only does Paul tell husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, but notice, He adds to that statement, the greatest example of Christ’s love for his church, that he “gave himself up for it.” Christ died for the church; the husband who loves his wife to that same degree is willing to die for her.

There is no greater love than that of Christ who died for the church, and that is the kind of love a husband is to have for his wife. The Greek word for that kind of love is “agape,“ which is the form of love that God has for us. A woman is created to respond to love and by the same token will also be repelled from a man who shows her no love. If the husband loves his wife, she is drawn to him; if he does not love her, she will be repelled. Therefore, building a good and lasting marriage is the husband’s responsibility first. That is part of his leadership responsibilities, which is to love his wife with a love like Christ loved His church.

To further that thought, the Scripture teaches, “Even before sin entered the world, there was still the principle of the headship of the husband,” 1 Timothy 2:13. “Adam was created first, and Eve was created to be a “helper” for Adam,” Genesis 2:18–20. It is God who has established authority in His creation: There are governments to enforce justice and provide protection; there are pastors to lead and feed the sheep, God’s children; and then husbands to love, protect and nurture their wives; fathers are to admonish and discipline their children. In every case, submission is required: citizens are to submit to the government’s authority; The flock is to submit to the shepherd, and the wife to her own husband, and children to their father.

Some would disagree, but I don’t believe God intended a woman to be submissive to a drunkard, abusive husband, who abuses her as well as his own children. The fact is, some men are not qualified to lead a family because of low morals, drinking, drugs and irresponsibility. In cases like this, the wife who must fill in the gap in the interest and welfare of the family. Of course, wives also have a responsibility to her family to be a moral respectful person who teaches and guides her children. It is not the village’s responsibility to raise children; it is the parents responsibility.

Today around half of marriages wind up in divorce. The reasons vary. Finances are listed at the top and then there is unfaithfulness, incompatibility and many other reasons. I believe the only way a marriage can ever reach its full potential is when both, husband and wife, are first totally committed to God. It is a Christians responsibility to first submit to God, James 1:21; 4:7, but submission does not end there; we should also be ready to submit to others in the Christian body, particularly those in leadership “… submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ,”  Ephesians 5:21.