Stop Doing 10 Things & Improve Your Life Dramatically
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Written by Jimmie Burroughs – Email this article to a friend
Usually at the beginning of a new year, people think about a new beginning. Rather than thinking about starting a new beginning, think first about making a new ending; that way you can then truly start a new beginning. Does that make sense? Stop doing the things that are holding you back, in other words, so you can begin to go forward. Stop doing these 10 things and improve your life dramatically:
1. Stop living in the past
2. Stop blaming others
3. Stop blaming yourself
4. Stop condemning, complaining and criticizing
5. Stop depending on someone else for your happiness
6. Stop wasting time
7. Stop being a phony
8. Stop bad habits that are killing you
9. Stop being negative
10. Stop hating
Stop living in the past:
Try to live like the past never existed; for any practical purpose it does not. At any rate, it is gone and cannot be changed in any way. The only thing living in the past can do is pull you down and cause you not to live your fullest in the present. Past success, failure, joy, pain or happiness does not matter . . . only what we do now matters. Open your eyes to new possibilities; take advantage of the things right before. Remember this: “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof….” Matthew 6:34. Trying to deal with more than just today is an overload that can cause you to crash and burn.
Dale Carnegie had a great way of putting it in his book “How to stop worrying and start living,” he said, “Live in day tight compartments.” Just as a large ship can be portioned into compartments separate from each other to keep from being flooded if there is a leak, so should we live only one day at a time, and close yesterday and tomorrow out, living in day tight compartments.
Stop blaming others:
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy,” Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Blaming others, or things only gives you a false excuse for not taking the responsibility for your own life and actions and doing something about it. Even if someone or something is the blame, it still does no good whatsoever to play the blame game; it keeps you from moving forward and making corrections that need making. The only thing that helps to get on with life is when we are willing to be responsible for our own life and start making right things happen instead of waiting around for time to make the decisions for us. Time left alone has a way of serving up a bunch of unwanted events.
Stop blaming yourself:
There is a difference in taking responsibility for your life and constantly blaming yourself. If you have a need to blame yourself, do it once then and move on. Continually blaming yourself is like setting a trap that keeps you inside a vicious circle of blame, shame, guilt and fear. A part of you is trying to control you. Some say it is the ego and others claim it is the flesh. Whatever it is, you must be stronger and refuse for it to happen. If you do not, it will kill your spirit and make you forever feel defeated.
Some go their life never being able to get past blaming themselves for everything that went wrong. We all make mistakes and experience failure; that is part of life, but to live in the frame of mind of blaming self is futile and never helps us to resolve our problems and move forward.
There is only one solution, and that is to forgive yourself just as you would be expected to forgive someone else, and then leave it behind and move on with your life.
Stop condemning, complaining and criticizing:
Being around someone who is constantly condemning, complaining and criticizing is enough to drive you crazy, so why would you ever want to be that person. Even those who complain do not want to hear someone else complain. Try writing your complaints down and then read them back to yourself; see how fast you get bored. The truth is most people could care less what you think anyway. People enjoy hearing their own name and good things about themselves. If you want to be interesting to someone, try to forget about yourself, complaints etc and talk in the other person’s interest. If you still feel compelled to rant and rave, find somewhere to be alone and then carry on. The rest of us do not want to hear it.
Stop depending on someone else for your happiness:
People need to understand that they are not responsible for anyone’s happiness but their own. Neither should they expect someone else to make them happy. Your happiness is an extremely personal matter that only is addressed by you. I am not implying to be unconcerned about others. Certainly, we should and try to make their life better, but to maintain their happiness is impossible.
If you cannot create your own happiness, you probably are going to be an unhappy dude from here out. Understanding what happiness is and what it is not is also crucial. However, space does not permit a discussion on that here. Read my article on “Finding contentment.”
Stop wasting time:
A recent survey of 2500 workers revealed that Sixty-four percent of respondents report wasting one hour or less each day, 22% waste approximately 2 hours daily, and 14% waste 3 or more hours each workday. Salary.com calculated “employers spend $759 billion per year on salaries for which real work was expected, but not actually performed.”
The job is not the only place valuable time is wasted. We waste our time commuting to far away jobs, watching silly TV programs that we don’t really enjoy, going places we had rather not go, and doing things we rather not do.
I do not mean to imply that there is never a time to do nothing; doing nothing is needed from time to time. It would be insane to try and to redeem every minute of the day. The object is to use your time better and gain by doing so.
For example, one way to redeem some time is to cut out a couple hours of TV each day, and spend more time helping yourself to become a better person by reading a good book on personal development. Check my list of 10 recommended classics on personal development; all free e-Book downloads. You might want to read history’s bestselling book on personal development, the Bible.
Stop being a phony:
Who likes a phony and who cannot tell one when you see one? The best person you can be is your authentic self. I remember when Kevin Skinner first auditioned for “America’s got talent”; he started talking in his native Kentucky, country accent and the judges almost rolled out of their seats. They were not laughing though when he started singing, and heard how well he could sing. One of the judges apologized to him and complemented him for the genuine person he was. He was just himself and did not try to put on airs in how he dressed or how he spoke. In case you do not know, he won the contest and pocketed the million dollars.
Stop bad habits that are killing you:
Drugs, smoking and drinking are leading killers. If you have a drug problem, whether it is illegal drugs or prescription, seek help today and overcome them before they overcome you. It is amazing that Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, and Whitney Houston, three of the top entertainers of the 20th century, all died at an early age because of prescription drug overdose. How sad and what a waste. The stories of other entertainers who killed themselves on overdoses of drugs would fill a book. That goes without including the thousands of others who also have traveled that path. When will folks ever learn?
The single most preventable cause of disease is tobacco, and it is the nation’s greatest cause of death. Each year, it is estimated that 443,000 people lose their life prematurely due to smoking or exposure to secondhand smoke. In addition, 8.6 million live with a serious disease caused by smoking. It does not stop there: It is estimated that 88 million non-smokers are also affected from second hand smoke, which includes 54% children from ages 3-11. The use of tobacco has to be the dumbest way ever to die before your time or have to live with a debilitating disease.
Stop being negative:
The only thing a negative attitude will gain you is a reputation for being a negative person. What makes a person negative is their choice to dwell on what is wrong instead of what is right. It is like considering the glass to be half-empty rather than half-full. There always will be things wrong; that is the nature of life. Some things are negative, and some positive. It is just a matter of which you decide to characterize your life. Negative thoughts bring bad feelings, and positive thoughts bring good feeling…choose!
Stop hating:
The hate drive is a God given emotional drive. There is actually a time and place to hate; for example, hating to see a person abused and mistreated. The wrong way to use hate is to hate someone for a reason or for no reason. Hate only hurts the person harboring it. As someone said, “It is like drinking poison hoping it will kill someone else.”
Conclusion:
Perhaps not all the above applies to you. I should hope that it does not, and then again, you may have other things unique to your life that you need to stop. Remember though, you cannot start a new chapter in your life until you close the old chapters that are holding you back.
About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a motivational speaker and author who’s been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. He is a dedicated believer in Jesus Christ and considers helping others his calling in life. His websites contains over 600 articles on preparing yourself for success and better living through personal development.
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