Ways of Improving Your Emotional Intelligence

Understanding your emotions and those of others is key to connecting with others. Emotional Intelligence is rare but valuable in building stronger relationships and resolving differences. What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence (also known as EQ, emotional quotient) is the intellectual ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in a positive way. It is also the ability to relieve stress, defuse conflict, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and communicate effectively. Emotional intelligence has many advantages: It helps you build stronger, better relationships, succeed at work or in school, and reach your personal goals. It is a way to connect with your feelings, swing into action, and make sound decisions. Generally, four attributes commonly describe emotional intelligence:  Self-management (The ability to manage your emotions); Self-awareness (Being aware of your emotional strengths and weaknesses); Social awareness (Understanding what is socially acceptable and what is workable socially); and Relationship Management (Knowing how to build and maintain relationships).

Below are some approaches for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence:

• I could be wrong: I have some beliefs about this issue but I could be wrong. This lets others know that you do not claim to know all the answers.
• I understand what you are saying: This response motivates a cooperative atmosphere and creates an opportunity for teamwork. This attitude conveys to the other person that you are listening and interested in what they are saying.
• That is interesting; tell me more: This approach proves you to be interested in the other person and their views, not just your opinions and views. This approach also encourages others to express themselves and their experiences without fear of intimidation.
• What are your feelings on this matter?  To make others feel that their views are respected and acknowledged, you must try to understand and empathize with others as to why they believe as they do.
• I hear and respect what you are saying, but I have a little different approach: This approach shows diplomacy and tactfulness when dealing with those with whom you disagree rather than being confrontational and driving people away. It can increase the possibility of coming to a solution or a mutual agreement.
• I appreciate the thought and work you have put into this: Showing gratitude sets you apart from the majority. It also improves the atmosphere and causes others to appreciate you and be more open for discussion on issues.
• Can you explain the problem to me so that I can better understand it? This acknowledges a problem, but instead of a negative reaction, you encourage the other person to open up and share what they believe. This approach also clarifies the issue so it is better understood and open for discussion.
• I realize it is easy to be confused and upset over issues, but don’t you think trying to find a mutual solution is better? This is focusing on the issue at hand rather than trying to place the blame on others.This also avoids putting the other person on the defensive. Being aggressive and pointing the finger of blame only acerbates the issue. An antagonistic, angry attitude only alienates others and never resolves issues.
• Please give me some advice and input on this: This way of approaching a problem makes the other person feel they are contributing to a solution and not just being reproached for their beliefs.
• You have expressed some very good points: This approach opens the way to discuss differences and creates an atmosphere of working together to resolve them. Resolving differences and conflicts in a mutual way is the point without causing the other person to feel that they are the victim.
• Thank you so much for your help: Saying thank you to others are words of magic and can endear you to them. Being polite, courteous, and showing respect for others is not so common today; it is best to do it without expecting anything in return.
• I’m sorry this happened: I’m wondering if we can come to a mutual solution in both our interests. If you make a mistake, be quick to admit it and apologies for it. If it is someone else’s’ mistake, leave it up to them as to how they respond; you cannot force them to your way of doing things.
• Would you consider how I feel about this? Most people acknowledge that others have a right to express their feeling on issues and are at least willing to listen. This follows that you have invited others to express their feelings on an issue. When you express your feelings, do so in a kind way and void of any anger. This attitude encourages others to express themselves the same way.

Conclusion: Feelings and emotions are a part of each person’s emotional make up, which when used appropriately are beneficial. That is why emotional Intelligence is essential for navigating a people world, which requires the ability to manage our emotions and what we feel and also understand others’ feelings and emotions. The principles above can be a great help when learned and used properly.