Worry Less & Live More

 “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” – Robert Eliot

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

In that one verse we find the answer to all worry:

When our hope, our faith, is totally in the Lord, everything else just seems to be rule #1 small stuff.

When our strength is renewed in the lord, there is nothing that can overcome us, or stop us, or burden us down.

When God renews our strength, we will soar on wings like eagles. The eagle is a powerful bird which flies across the sky with grace and ease.

When God renews our strength, we will run and not grow weary. Nothing makes us weary because our strength is constantly being renewed in the Lord.

When God renews our strength, we will walk and not be faint. We calmly walk through life with the power of God at our side.

We have a choice; We can place our hope and faith in the lord or we can suffer anxiety, worry and the constant pain and depression that the world brings. Leo Buscagli said, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”                

Are you worrying too much?

When God created the human mind, He made it capable of engaging thoughts, all kinds of thoughts, but He also enabled it to sort through the thoughts and discard those that are of no use, or false in nature.

As much as 95% of thoughts are either un-useful, false or un-needed. That also means that up to 95% of things we worry about concern things that never happen and are therefore useless. What that means is, we could reduce our worry by as much as up to 95% by sorting through our thoughts and tossing the worthless. It is normal to maintain a certain amount of worry; this motivates us to find the needed solution.

It is when worry becomes excessive that it is harmful mentally and physically. It is the “If only” or “What if” or considering “worse case future scenarios” that overload us with worthless, un-needed worry. Relatively speaking, most of our worry is actually just small stuff anyway. Robert Eliot said, “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” Well it may not all be small stuff, but a lot of it is. It is the small stuff that clutters up our thinking and hinders us from discerning what is important and finding solutions.

This overload of worthless, small stuff, worry producing thoughts has devastating physical and emotional results, which includes insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and muscle tension, resulting in weakness, restlessness and inability to concentrate on work and responsibilities. In desperation, some turn to addictive drugs and alcohol to alleviate the anxiety, which in turn multiplies worry and anxiety and causes great, and sometimes un-reversable, mental and physical harm. If any of the above describes you, there is hope.

There are ways that will help you to deal with worrisome thoughts and anxiety. Chronic Worry is a mental habit, and like all habits it can be broken. The way this is achieved is through re-training your brain to consider your life in a more balanced, smart way, and instead of always focusing on the negative, considering the positive side of life, and as the quote above states, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

Consider the purpose of worry. It is not to cause you unbearable pain and suffering. It is a mechanism to motivate you to find workable solutions. It is somewhat like putting together a puzzle and coming up with an attractive result. Worry itself is not the problem; the problem is losing control of your worried mind and being unable to discern a real problem from all the worrisome junk thoughts, and then figuring out the solution.

Do you worry about everything? These 7 steps can help you understand what causes worry and how to deal with it:

Step #1: Consider Living today. In his book “How to stop worrying and start living” Dale Carnegie said, “Live in day tight compartments.” When a ship is sinking, all the compartments taking on water are sealed off. If you attempt to take on all the concerns of yesterday, today and those imagined concerns of the future, it is an overload, and can cause your ship to sink, so to speak. There is nothing that can be done about those “if only” events of the past and the “what if events” of the future. We can deal with the present and only the present. Living just one day at a time, moment by moment, can reduce your worry load by up to two thirds.

Step #2: Create a time to worry. Doesn’t it make sense to have a dedicated time to worry rather than letting it consume your ever- wakening hour of the day? The time you select should be a time most convenient for you. However, choosing a time just before bedtime might not be wise if you can’t stop your worry time, and it causes you trouble sleeping. A good time may be early in the morning; at such time you can also make it a matter of prayer. This clears your mind to start your day with a positive attitude. Determine in your mind to consider the rest of the day a worry-free zone, and if thoughts of worry do enter your mind, remind yourself that you have postponed worrying about that until later.

Step #3: Carefully evaluate worry. If you are a chronic worrier, it might help to keep a journal to record your worries. An easy way to do this is to make notes during the day of your worries when they come into your mind and transfer them later to your journal; this way you can continue your day without the nagging worry hanging over your head. You have filed it to consider later during your worry time. When you go through your journal at a pre-set worry period, you can determine which one’s are worth considering and which ones need to be marked off as useless. You will likely find that your worries have lost their power over you once you write them down and later consider their validity.

Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. If the thoughts you wrote down are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them as you consider possible solutions, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. As you examine your worries in this way, you’ll often find it easier to develop a more balanced perspective. And if your worries don’t seem important any more, simply cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Step #4: Concentrate on things solvable. According to research there is temporarily less anxiety during the time of worry because of distraction. Worry itself may cause a false feeling of accomplishment, so don’t confuse worry with solving the problem. Worrying is not the same as finding a workable solution; it is just a notification of the issue.

Coming to a solution to a problem first requires determining what is solvable from those things which are beyond your control. I like the AA prayer adapted by alcoholics anonymous in 1941 and still used until this day: “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It does take courage to take the necessary action to change things and also wisdom to distinguish between those things we can change from those we cannot.

Sometimes being able to accept things as they are is necessary. Once a determination is made that a problem is solvable, you can develop a plan of action and concrete steps for solving it. In the beginning, we talked about eliminating worthless concerns and thoughts. That alone gets rid of a lot of worry. For example, worrying about whether you will get cancer someday, worrying about losing your job, worrying about having a car accident, etc. Those are unproductive concerns that have no solution rather than precaution. It is those things which are solvable that we need to concentrate on, rather than the unsolvable.

When a worry is solvable, began listing the possible solutions while keeping in mind there may be no perfect solution. Once you have a practical list of solutions, map out a plan of action. If your plan does not work, go back to the drawing board and come up with a new plan until you find a solution. If you determine something is beyond your control, the best possible action is to accept the uncertainty and decide not to let it keep you from enjoying all the things which are good in your life.

Step #5: Challenge your thoughts. Challenging your negative thoughts is kind of like inviting them around an imaginary conference table. You are the CEO in charge and your worries are board members. One of your worrys speaks up and says, “You better start worrying about dying from cancer.” You say, “Don’t you know that only one out of four die from cancer. That means I have a 75% chance for not dying from cancer. I will take the positive side, so get out! You are not wanted. Mr. die from a car accident speaks up, “You better worry about dying from a car accident.” You say, ” There are 40,000 people who die from car accidents in this country each year. That means that 329 million don’t. I believe that I have a better chance being part of the 329 million. Get out! So you co around the board table of your worries and challenge each one. You probably won’t have many left at the end of the meeting.

You are the major stock holder and you don’t have to accept any of the suggestions of the board members. You can listen and then challenge the validity and value of each suggestion. Just because you have a thought that causes worry or anxiety does not mean it is even true. Weigh the evidence to determine if it is true and then if it is, file it for later action, and if not true or useful, cast it out. Sometimes it is necessary to reframe the concern in a positive and realistic way to determine what the possible outcome might be or the probability that anything will happen at all. As said above, up to 95% of the things we worry about don’t happen.

Also, challenge the thought for its usefulness. You will find that most thoughts are just useless baggage that needs to be gotten rid of. If you could look at each thought objectively, what would you say about them? Or if it were someone else’s problem, would it seem to be a problem at all? Lastly, ask yourself: is worrying about this going to help me in any way, or is it going to solve it? The obvious answer is no!

Step #6: Consider all alternatives. Worry is a part of a greater problem, anxiety. Some anxiety/worry is helpful if it can nudge us toward finding a solution to problems, but too much anxiety/worry can be a debilitating and paralyzing dilemma causing panic and forcing negative, harmful thoughts.

If you suffer from anxiety and worry, you’re not alone. Worry and anxiety disorders affects 40 million adults According to the “Anxiety and Depression Association of America.” As a solution, many have turned to medication for help. Antianxiety drugs may be helpful and even necessary for some, but they are not without side effects: Trouble sleeping, decreased libido, jumpiness, and increased hunger are some of the most common side effects.

The good news is there are alternatives to drugs that could work for you or at least help in dealing with your anxiety and worry. Here are some alternatives to consider:

• Eat a healthy diet: A poor diet can make anxiety worse. A stress hormone, cortisol, increases when you don’t have a healthy diet, which raise the stress level, making you feel bad if you are prone to anxiety. Include more, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and lean proteins into your diet.

• Start an exercise routine: Exercise is one of the best natural antianxiety solutions. It raises serotonin and endorphin levels, which makes you feel better.

• Get plenty of sleep: Humans need from 8 to 9 hours of sleep each 24-hour period to function properly.

• Engage in active sports: Active sports reduce stress and provide a vent for worry and anger.

• Reduce caffeine: Gradually reducing caffeine can also reduce the amount of anxiety you experience.

• Learn to say no: It is hard for many to say no, and they often overload themselves with other’s problems, causing additional stress resulting in anxiety and worry. Know what your limitations are and say “No” when you feel the need.

• Live for moment: Instead of worrying about some future appointments and things which don’t really affect you, or things out of your control, try to enjoy the present by being thankful for all the good things in your life.

You can overcome much of your anxiety and worry by modifying your thoughts, behavior, and lifestyle. You may still need medications, but the things above can complement them and may even enable you to reduce the amount of medications. Before entering into any new routine concerning your health, first consult your health care giver for advice.

Step #7: Construct a strategy. The first step for stop worrying was to live one day at a time. If you examine your worry process, you will likely notice that much of your worrying is on future events, what could happen and what can be done about it, or on the past and what you could have done that would have made a difference.

The strategy for dealing with this is observing your worries and mindfully recognizing that your thinking is causing problems and involving negative emotions, and then letting them go and bringing yourself back to the present. Staying focused on the present by using your mindfulness is a simple strategy. It is a habit that takes time and regular practice to develop, but the benefits are worth it.

It will be a battle to keep your mind from wandering back to your worries but don’t let it keep you frustrated, because each time you are able bring your thinking back to the present, you’re reinforcing your ability to break the negative habit and worry cycle.

Another strategy is not fighting, trying to control or ignoring useless worries; acknowledge and objectively observe them as if you were looking on, like watching a bus load of people passing by, which is soon out of sight. It is when we engage useless worries that we get stuck on them. If you are getting stuck on a particular thought, be aware of it, and bring yourself back to the present moment in time. 

Postlude: I know from experience the steps to how to stop worrying actually work. However, each person is different, so it will be much harder for some than others to implement them. Also, something I failed to mention earlier is that when a brand-new worry pops up, it will be harder to deal with than older worries and may take longer.

It used to take me about 24 hours to get past a new worry to the point where I could get it out of mind. When you have a new problem suddenly hit you in the face, it is kind of like trying to fight off a swarm of nats. The thoughts come at you like that, like a rerun which plays over and over. I have been able to cut the time down on new problems from 24 hours but am still unable to deal with them instantly.

I want you to understand that when I write these articles, I am not perfect in doing what I write about. I am in a process of growing like I hope you are.

Written by Jimmie Burroughs