Written by Jimmie Burroughs
According to statistics about half of all marriages end up in divorce. That is just part of the picture of marriage: While five out of ten marriages end, three out of ten marriages remain in effect because of the children or finances and not for love. That leaves only two marriages out of ten that have found any semblance of the secret of a lasting love. So what is the secret of a lasting love? It involves:
· Understanding what love is
· The source love
· What makes love work
What is love?
In the English language, there is but one word for love. It is used to describe all types of things from sexual love to the love of things and activities, as well as people. The Greek language is now considered a dead language; it was, however, many years ago, the original language of the New Testament of the Bible. There are three Greek words for love, two of which are used in the New Testament. The word Eros, for sexual love, is not found in the New Testament, but the other two are Agape and phileo. Agape is God’s love; it is, therefore, a supernatural love . . . A perfect love. Phileo is a human love. Human love isn’t perfect, nor does it always last. Only God’s love can be considered a perfect, lasting love.
The source of lasting love
God is the only source of perfect, lasting love. The Bible describes God as love. A union with God is also a union with His love. Human love can sometimes reach considerable depths, but it can never match God’s love in its depth nor its durability as well as its perseverance. The remarkable thing is that God’s perfect, lasting love is available to all who will receive it. God invites you to have a relationship with Him and experience His love in your life. His love in your life will affect every other relationship that you have. I have prepared a step by step guide to teach you how to have a relationship with God. If you are interested, click here.
How does God’s love work in our life?
Once we have a relationship with God, He and His love take up residence in our spirit. To understand how His love works, you need to understand how God designed you. There is only one God, but he expresses His presence in three distinct personalities: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. God also designed His human creation in three distinct entities: body, soul, and spirit. In order for God’s love to be effective in your life, you need to understand how those three entities that makes up your existence, function, as well as how they relate to God’s love.
Needless to say that we must first desire God’s love to reign in our life. The Bible teaches that the way this happens is when we walk in the Spirit, Galatians 5. What that means is that we surrender control of our life over to the Spirit of God who resides within. As a result, God’s love not only shines into our lives but also shines out to others. That is why that God’s love in your life has a significant impact in the lives of others and your relationship with them.
I said above that it is also necessary to understand how the body, soul and spirit are all involved in effectively expressing God’s love.
Let’s start with the body
The body is our physical existence. The Bible teaches that Jesus showed His love toward us by dying for us, Romans 5:8. Perfect love shows itself to others by physical actions. How we speak to others, how we treat them, and deal with them either shows our love or our disdain. It is crucial to understand that the physical can be limited in its effectiveness to perform. This also includes our effectiveness to love. If we are stressed, tired or run down, we are far more unlikely to express love. This can be especially damaging to a marriage. Three things can enhance your effectiveness to love:
· Balanced diet
Rest is extremely beneficial to the effectiveness of love. God designed the human body to take a day’s rest each week. In the Bible, this is referred to as The Sabbath. If you fail to take a day’s rest each week, you are in effect breaking one of the 10 commandments. The importance of the day of rest commandment is that it is listed among those that say: Thy Shalt not kill; Thy shalt not commit adultery; Thy Shalt not steal. The proper rest is extremely valuable. If you are trying to burn the candle at both ends, you may not be as bright as you think you are. You certainly are not going to be at your best at love.
A balanced diet may not seem to be significant to effective love, but, in fact, it is. A body that is weak and sick or suffering from malnutrition isn’t up to reflecting God’s perfect love. An easy way to improve your diet is by including more fruit and vegetables and eating less red meat. Add more super foods to your diet like beans, greens, tomatoes, eggs and salmon. Your diet may still not be perfect, but what I’m suggesting can make some significant improvements with just a little effort and you don’t have to eat bland tasting food; you can eat things that taste terrific. With a little discipline and taking care about eating between meals, you can also reduce your weight and maintain a healthy weight.
Most of us don’t like to exercise, but exercise is essential for strength and vigorous health and enhances our ability to love. When most people think of exercise they think of a regimented session of lifting weights or doing setups or pushups. Those are excellent exercises, but if that’s more than you want to commit to, try walking around the neighborhood. Walking is one of the best exercises we can do, and it can be a pleasant experience. Start walking and design your own pace. If you can only walk a short distance and need rest, then do so. In time, you will build up your strength and be able to walk further.
The soul is the center of our awareness and determination. It is made up of three parts also:
It has often been said that our mind becomes what we put into it. If we fill it with negative thoughts, then we become a negative person. We determine what put into our mind. It’s true that negative thoughts sometimes come into our mind uninvited, but we don’t have to allow them to linger. As someone said, “Birds fly over our heads, but we don’t have to allow them to build a nest on our head.” You can strengthen your mind and thinking patterns by what you read and what you see and enhance your ability to love. The Bible gives a formula for building a healthy thought pattern: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these. (Philippians 4:8)
You must will to do things. There is nothing wrong in having a strong will as long as it is the will to do the right things. It is through the will that we determine to love or to hate. It requires a determination to love and show your love to others. Finding ways to show your love to others and willing to do so is part of the secret of a lasting love.
We all are emotional beings. The emotions are made up of a bunch of God given drives which include the anger drive as well as the hate drive, along with the love drive and many others. All the emotional drives are given for a purpose but are often misused. For example, the sex drive was given to be a needed part of marital love as well as procreation, but it’s misused when it becomes an enticement to commit adultery or live in fornication. Another example is the hunger drive; it is needed to maintain a healthy life, but it can be misused by eating too much of the wrong kinds of food, or by gluttony. It is the love drive that is our concern here. We possess the drive, and it is up to us as how much we express it. The more we express it the easier it becomes, and the stronger it grows.
When we form a union or a relationship with God, He takes up residence within our spirit. We live in a world filled with unrest and violence. But at the center of our being we have a calm cushion awaiting us. The world offers no peace, rest or calm, only God can give those things, and He stands prepared to supply our every need. We who know Him can turn to Him as often as we want. He is within, so near and so available to us. He is our source of love, joy and peace and provides the ongoing strength that we need to face any issue in life. He loves us with an everlasting love, and He is the source and the secret of a lasting love.
I have written to you from my own experience in love, and from 44 years experience of marriage to the same lovely woman until her death a few years ago, and from what I’ve learned from God’s Word. I know that it works. You also can experience God’s everlasting love in your life if you choose. It will change your entire approach to life. God’s presence in our life is the fulfillment of that which each person strives for and many never find, and that is the longing of the heart. Right within us we have the very source of love, joy and peace, and the strength, to face all that life throws at us, and it comes for the God who created the universe. It is my prayer, and my hope that you too will discover the secret of lasting love. Learn how you can have a relationship with God.
About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a author, motivational speaker, and child of God who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website, Website Contents , in your person growth. If I can help you personally, please send your concerns via: Contact me.
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