Exposition of Matthew (Matthew 18:15-18)

October 1, 2021 

(Jesus’ last days of earthly ministry)

Questions to be answered in this study

1. What are the three steps Jesus sets forth that we are to follow when a brother sins against us?
2. What are the three things we are to avoid when confronting another person about a difference?
3. Why is it essential to go to a person to talk with them directly when there is an offense?
4. Why is it important to exercise patience when dealing with others over a problem?
5. What is the importance of taking one or two others with you if you fail to resolve an issue on the first visit?
6. What technicalities enter in making it necessary for two or three witnesses to resolve an issue?
7. Why is it so important after the first two steps have failed to resolve an issue to bring it before the church?
8. What is to take place if the offender refuses to hear the church?
9. Why is it so important that the church makes every effort to bring an offender back into the fold as a shepherd would in case of a lost sheep?

Introduction

The disciples were unintentionally stumbling blocks to other followers of Jesus. Even John, who later became a stalwart disciple of Jesus, called attention to someone other than the twelve casting out Demons. He was questioning the right of others to serve the Lord because they were not part of the little group of disciples. Jesus rebuked John and the disciples, telling them that everyone which was for them was not against them.

This statement brought Jesus to the subject of stumbling blocks. He pronounced woe on those who would hinder others from serving Him. Using hyperbole, Jesus said it would be better if they drowned in the sea or went through life dismembered and blind. Jesus ended that section with the parable of the 99 sheep and the one, which portrayed the importance of just one sheep. The shepherd would leave the 99 to rescue the one who had gone astray and gently bring him back into the fold where the shepherd cares for its wounds. That was the mission of Jesus to seek and save those who were lost and not to abuse them or mistreat them. The lesson to the disciples was how they were to treat others. They were not to accuse others and shut them out because they were not part of their little group. It is a shame that today we have little clicks within the church that are closed to others.

That is a lesson for us today. Instead of criticizing others of another denomination because they are not part of our group or do not believe everything we believe, we are to realize they also are part of the body of Christ and are with us, not against us. I’m not talking about cults who are certainly not for us and with us; I’m talking about other believers, even those who have strayed from the teaching of Christ like the sheep that went astray.

Now Jesus addresses another ubiquitous topic in the church today but is rarely treated Biblically; this concerns a brother who offends another brother, especially when there is sin involved, not just a difference in opinion:

Matthew 18:15-18, “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

These verses are the key to reconciliation. It is ever so common for a believer to offend another brother or sister by what they say or do; this is especially true when a brother lets sin interfere with a relationship. The three-step process Jesus sets forth gives directions to follow when a brother sins: First, go to that person and try to resolve the issue face to face. Second, if they won’t hear, take two or three others with you and try again. Third, if they won’t listen, take it before the church. Some never attempt to reconcile and carry ongoing feelings of bitterness toward another, which harms their own peace in the Lord. This passage is God’s way to restore a brother in Christ and renew a friendship.

Let’s closely examine these three steps: First, we are to go to the offending brother in private and attempt to reconcile with them; this is not to be done in an unloving and accusing manner; it is to be done in love and gentleness. If apologies are in order, they should be forthcoming in the very beginning. We are to never discuss with others the problem without first going to the offending person in private; to do so is to gossip, which is all to common in the church today.

We should always be honest, straightforward, and willing to hear the other person’s explanation; this is not a time of arguing or defending oneself; that only exacerbates the problem. You can honestly share your concerns in a kind and gentle way, but the object is to avoid complaining, criticizing, and condemning the other person. If sin is the object of indifference, the purpose is not to win a person back to yourself but to Christ. 

Neither are we attempting to win an argument; again, that only exacerbates the problem. Keep in mind; it is not us making demands on someone else to do our bidding or forcing them to change by threatening them. We are to allow them to admit to any wrongdoing through encouragement, not condemnation or exercising authority over them.

Notice Jesus says go to that person face to face. Avoid the temptation to call a person on the phone. They need to see you and hear you in person. There are several reasons for this approach:

1. Meeting someone in person is how to show them your concern by your expressions and presence.
2. Body language is an essential part of communication and can avoid misunderstanding.
3. It enables us to see how they respond and influences our response to them.

It is tempting nowadays to avoid one-on-one contact because of the various ways of communication: phone, texting, email, etc. Still, they are inferior to a face-to-face encounter and are not compatible with Jesus’ instructions. A face-to-face meeting requires more effort and shows more concern for the other person. They may have an explanation that clears the matter. Meeting in person with someone gives you a significant opportunity to clarify indifferences, miscommunications, and misunderstandings. If this was the problem, you could be thankful that was all it was and be grateful that you kept the problem confidential. The other possibility is that the person realizes their wrongdoing and repents in humility. In that case, in the words of Jesus, you have won or gained a brother.

It may be surprising to know just how many people have come to a mutual agreement on a difference by just taking the time to meet and talk it over. However, ordinarily, people need time to consider issues and come to a workable conclusion, which requires patience on our part. If your meeting has not been successful, try to depart in a friendly manner and be patient for a while to see if the person may later come to realize their failure and be willing to reconcile; this gives the Holy Spirit time to work in the other person’s life.

Over some time, if there is no resolution of differences, then it is time to go to the second step Jesus mentioned, which is taking one or two people with you to confirm the matter. To establish means to substantiate that the other person is acting out of a heart of sin. To clarify what He means, Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 19:15 (KJV) “One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established.”

Under Israeli law, two or three witnesses were required to establish factual evidence in any matter; this was a safeguard against someone being framed by false accusations or slander; this reduces the event of someone being convicted falsely in the court of law. Also, adding other witnesses is likely to convince the person giving a need to resolve the situation. It is far easier to deny the truth before one person, but to deny before three witnesses is far more intimidating. 

The charge of one person is one thing, but when two or three reputable believers come with the same charge, it becomes far more difficult to deny the truth of the matter. At this point, it should become a lot easier to restore the offender and resolve the issue. However, if the person still refuses to repent, it is time to go before the church with the matter; this means bringing the case before the whole body of Christ for a resolution. In my entire life, I have only seen this done one time. The importance of this is that one wayward person affects the credibility of the whole church body.

At this point, there is no hiding or no escape from the reality of the sin. If that person then refuses to repent, they lose their fellowship with the body of Christ, and Jesus says, “if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” In other words, if they refuse to listen to the entire church body, they are to be excommunicated; this was severe in Jewish culture. It meant that no other Jew would eat with them, have them into their home, or even recognize or speak to them when they met them. Although this was the same treatment Jews gave gentiles and tax collectors, that isn’t the same treatment given the offending brother; in this case it is an effort to get the offending brother to admit his trespasses and repent. Jesus often ignored the former kind of behavior as He did in the case of Matthew, the publican. Jesus often ignored Jewish norms, which were contrary to Christian behavior. 

The euphuism Jesus used was to the degree to which the church body should cut off a defiant brother. It was indeed a severe indictment to be cut off from fellowship with the church and not allowed to participate on any level. This decision was the last resort, but even then, it was an effort to bring a person to their senses as to how offensive their actions were to others and ultimately bring them to terms with their offense resulting in their repentance and restoration to the church. If they continue in their sin, they face far more risk in eternity when they are liable to lose their rewards or, in the case of a false believer, lose their soul as indicated in Hebrews:

Heb. 10:26-31 (KJV), “For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. 28He that despised Moses’ law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: 29Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? 30For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. 31It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

We see further in 1 Corinthians the seriousness of an offending brother:

1 Corinthians 5:1-5 (KJV), “It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father’s wife. 2And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3For I verily, as absent in body, but present in Spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed, 4In the name of our LORD Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my Spirit, with the power of our LORD Jesus Christ, 5To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the Spirit may be saved in the day of the LORD Jesus.”

The unity of the body of the church is in view here. The goal is to keep that unity. When someone strays, it is the responsibility of the church body to bring them back into the fold. It is like what a literal shepherd would do when a sheep goes astray. He goes through the valleys and over the hills until the sheep is found and brings him home. The shepherd’s shaft was designed with a crook so the shepherd could reach down into a pit for, which a sheep had fallen, and lift it out.

On the other hand, spiritual shepherds are to go to whatever lengths necessary to restore disobedient brothers and sisters in Christ, and this is to be done in love. Sometimes, the person may be caught up in a dreadful sin, as in the verses above, and are defiant and unwilling to repent. In that case, there is no other alternative other than to turn them over to Satan for the destruction of the body in hopes that will bring them to repentance lest they stand before God one day in judgment. In the case I personally witnessed as mentioned earlier, a church member was arrested for incest with his daughter. I don’t know what the final outcome of it was. The man was probably sentenced to prison. A person may confess a sin and be forgiven by the church and God, but that does not remove the consequences of the sin.