10 Principles of an Effective Communicator

Effective conversation is an art and a necessary skill for almost every situation in life.  The conversation is how we form relationships, build a business, expand our social circle, and show interest in others. Knowing how to have an effective conversation is of the essence. If being an effective conversationalist is your desire, below are some key principles to consider:

1. Be a good listener: Have you ever spoken to someone who seemed to be paying little attention to you but was looking around the room as if searching for someone else to talk to rather than you? When you speak to someone, look at them. Your eyes are one way of showing that you are paying attention to what is being said. You don’t need to stare. Occasionally looking away can reduce tension. Communicate with others in a way that makes them feel important, which they are, and the best way to do that is by listening to every word.
2. Be pleasant: If you want a pleasant experience, you must first be pleasant. A frown or scrawl can turn others off and make conversation difficult. Start a conversation with a smile. Be friendly; your level of Friendliness can cause the other person to be open and friendly. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say and show interest.  Be polite even if you disagree with them. Be relaxed and avoid crossing your arms, which conveys a lack of interest.
3. Be careful with your words: Avoid profanity or embarrassing words. Some are sensitive to those kinds of words and will resent you for using them. Use wisdom in selecting the words you use because words are powerful. Words have the power to destroy; they can start wars, cause the loss of millions of dollars, and end a career. Keep in mind that people will judge you by your words. Avoid using words that cast you in a bad light, for example, slang words and slurs of all types. Use positive words that convey strength and promote healing. Take time to build your vocabulary. It will enhance your communication and attract others to you.
4. Show confidence in what you say: Have knowledge of what you talk about: and speak with conviction. The confidence you have in yourself is the confidence others have in you. When you’re comfortable with yourself, others will be comfortable in your presence. Enthusiasm is infectious; if your attitude is positive and enthusiastic, it will reflect in the attitude of others. 
5. Show gratitude and compliment but always be sincere: A sincere compliment is a positive way to begin any conversation. Making others feel good about themselves is an opening to discuss things with them that might otherwise be closed. Expressing your gratitude is a way to gain attention like nothing else because it is so rare today. Remember to be specific with your compliments and gratitude—for example, commenting on an item of clothing or showing gratitude for something a person has done recently that was notable.
6. Ask questions: Your questions are not to be too personal, but things you know the other person will be glad to talk about. They can be used to move the conversation forward and lead to more important issues. Like lubricant oils a machine and causes it to run smoothly, so do questions in a conversation. Being inquisitive of another person shows that you are interested in them and what they do.
7. Let others lead the conversation: Dominating conservation with your interests and antidotes can be a surefire way of causing them to be disinterested. Instead, keep your focus on the other person and their interests. Sometimes it is necessary to inject something about yourself to keep the conversation going.
8. Avoid being argumentative: The best way to avoid arguments is by not engaging in the first place. Someone may try to goad you into an argument because it gives them power and gratification; don’t be sucked into their need for attention. Think about your body, which releases chemicals when you are angry that can cause you to react in destructive ways. According to statistics, those who engage in arguments often have a shorter life span.
9. Be Inclusive: Excluding other conversation members is unacceptable and can kill the conversation. Look in their direction, not just the one you are directly addressing.
10. Know when and how to end a conversation politely: When you see a conversation beginning to lull, take the cue that it is time to end it. Say, “I hope to see you again soon; speaking with you has been a pleasure.” Leave gracefully by thanking others present before saying goodbye.

Conclusion: We can agree that whatever makes for good conversation should be a time we enjoy and value. The best way to ensure an effective conversation is by understanding what makes one and finding ways to enhance our communication skills. This article aims to reflect on the features that embody a thought-provoking, satisfying, and memorable conversation. It is one thing to learn better ways of communicating and another to find ways to apply what we have learned; doing so helps us build lasting bonds and relationships.