You Can Improve Your Conversation Skills…

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Written by Jimmie Burroughs Email this article to a friend

Conversation can be a delightful experience that adds real joy to your life. Some have a knack for conversation and others don’t but when you find that person who is really skilled at it; it makes you want to talk to them as often as possible. It doesn’t matter at what level you are presently; what matters is,  are you ready to improve and master your conversation skills? If so, you can begin at this very moment.

It is through conversation that we relate to others and how we relate is determined by how skilful we are at conversing with others. The reason we engage in conversation is that is our nature as human beings. This is evidenced by our interest in watching plays and movies, even though passive it still is stimulating to watch others relate through conversation. But to bring it to a first person experience with a one on one conversation with another, it is a real experience of pleasure.

A lot of things enhance good conversation, but you don’t have to know it all or be it all too immediately be a better conversationalist. All you need to start with is a good set of ears and willing to listen and ask questions. Now just anyone can do that, wouldn’t you say? Add to that a few pointers and some practice and you are on your way to a great improvement on how you relate to others.

Here are a few things that will help you to improve your Conversation Skills:

• I’m sure you have tried to talk to people who want to dominate the conversation. A conversation is characterized as a dialogue where there is a mutual exchange of ideas. A monologue is not conversation, it is a lecture.
• Each person has a right to their opinion. Just today I was talking to a person on the phone and I expressed a different opinion and the other person immediately set up a line of defense. That isn’t necessary at all; when someone expresses their own ideas about something, it is their right. You certainly have the right to express your ideas also but it is done best without argument. That deteriorates an otherwise good exchange.
• Avoid interrupting the other person; be patient and let them fully express themselves. If they hesitate, wait before jumping right in and make sure they are finished with their line of thought.
• There are certain subject matters that are best left alone if you want to keep the conversation on a friendly tone. It is generally agreed that sex, politics and religion often result in a heated exchange and therefore are best left alone. I don’t mean it is necessary to hide the fact you are a Christian or whatever belief system you may have or that you are a democrat or republican but any in depth discussion is bound to lead to some sharp disagreements. The truth is that usually no one changes their mind and it can often result in hurt feelings.
• You don’t need a PHD to be good conversationalists, but you do need a general knowledge concerning current matters, the news and world events and sometimes sports.
• One of the main issues in good conversation is to show genuine interest and courtesy to the other person and especially if you happen to disagree.
• Being relaxed adds to the mood of a conversation. Tense facial muscles and nervousness do not put the other person at ease but it can make them want to slip away the first chance. Just relax your body, smile and have a friendly disposition.
• If there is to be an imbalance in the conversation, let it be the other person but a fifty, fifty balance is preferred.
• The key to being a good conversationalist is being a skilled listener; have eye contact and resist the temptation to be looking around to see what is going on in the room. If a person I’m talking to starts looking around, I just stop talking until I know I have their attention.

People are interesting and we, for the most part, are curious as to what others think and how they believe. When we show our interest in them by asking questions and being relaxed, it opens them up and they are more willing to share their views. If you, on the other hand, intimidate people with brash or forceful remarks, you are not likely to get anything from them.

Some people are shy, especially when meeting new people, so you need to give them time to warm up to you. You may need to ask a few questions and maintain a relaxed posture in order to make them feel confident that you will not jump at them for expressing themselves.

And easy flow and exchange of ideas is preferred, where each person is involved whether it is one on one or includes others. I remember some time ago there was a gathering of relatives at my home of about 10 or 12 people and one lady started talking and for what seemed to be an hour she rambled on and on, hardly pausing for a breath of air, and the thing of it was what she was saying was about her and quite boring. So the rest of us just sat there and endured without having much of a visit and the time together was somewhat wasted because of one person who had no idea about good conversation. In some settings where this happens you are free to just move on, but that is not so easy to do when a group is sitting in your living room.

Be sure to inject interesting subject matter into the conversation. Here are some things that are generally not interesting; A step by step description of your latest surgery; discussing how sorry your spouse is; too much about your kids and grandkids; how much you hate your job and boss; your family history and the weather to name just a few. Here is a rule of thumb: The same things that usually bore you from someone else will bore others coming from you.

Some of the things most people are interested in are current events, technology, new discoveries, and interesting books. When you are able to add enlightening remarks, people will take an interest in hearing you out. No one knows everything so sometimes it is best just to listen and learn. If the conversation is not exactly something you are that interested, just relax; don’t feel that you are in the wrong place or exhibit displeasure.

When meeting new people move in slowly; take time to induce yourself and allow the other person too also. No matter how well you are dressed something is badly missing if you don’t wear a warm smile. It makes you far more approachable and it puts the other person at ease and also have an eye contact.

You are who you are so never try to be anything else because it will always come across as phony unless you are a very good actor. Just being your unique self adds so much more interest and curiosity.

Conclusion: Finally in order to become that skilled conversationalist, you are going to have to practice, practice, and practice. Doesn’t matter what skill you want to develop it takes time and practice. The best way to get the experience is to expose yourself to many different types of social venues. Practice with good friends or your own family and when you go to stores or restaurants. Don’t worry, you won’t ever get too much practice are ever get so good that you can’t improve even more.

Conversation Quotes

The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying it ourselves than in drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and his own cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you. Jean de la Bruyere

Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. William Shakespeare

Two monologues do not make a dialogue. Jeff Daly

Conversation should touch everything, but should concentrate itself on nothing. Oscar Wilde

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. Robert C. Gallagher

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. Andre Maurois

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Mark Twain

My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company. Jane Austen

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. Oscar Wilde

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness. Margaret Millar

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. Marcus Tullius Cicero

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet. Truman Capote

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“With patience and ease, in an unselfish and purposeful way, over a time period undetermined, and for a good that includes others, I intend for $1,000,000 to come to me and to others who join me in holding to this objective.” Jimmie Burroughs




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Jimmie Burroughs is the author of JimmieBurroughs.com ; get more tips on personal development: www.JimmieBurroughs.com

JimmieBurroughs.com is founded and maintained by Jimmie Burroughs Nashville, Tennessee. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ © 2011 Jimmie Burroughs. All rights reserved

Who Is Jimmie Burroughs? Jimmie Burroughs has been involved in teaching Personal Development off and on for more than 30 years. He is a dedicated believer in Jesus Christ and considers helping others his calling in life.

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