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Written by Jimmie Burroughs Email to a friend
I’ve heard it from women over and over that it is hard to find a real man nowadays. William J. Bennett says in his article, Have We Forgotten How to Raise Boys Into Men? ”You don’t need numbers; just ask young women about men today, and you’re likely to hear how many believe their males counterparts are more like male children, refusing to grow up. Too many young women today are asking, ‘Where are the good single men?’ Contemporary men exhibit a maturity deficit, and are in danger of falling further behind the more well adjusted women of
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There is little doubt the direction we are going when even the president of the United States made the statement that one day it will be just as honorable for two men to be married as it is for a man and a woman. The gay culture often challenges traditional masculinity with its flamboyant display of effeminacy.
Somewhere along the way the world has lost its standard of what constitutes a real man. So if you are interested in finding out how to be a real man, read on.
There are so many ways that a man can improve his attractiveness and the kind of person he is, but I’ve selected 6 things that I believe lie at the core of being a real man. 6 Tips on How to Be a Real Man starts with:
1. Getting started: There has to be a starting point for all endeavors. Little boys aren’t automatically real men; they have to grow, learn and mature into a real man, and that appears to be at the root of the problem because it seems too many men are refusing to do just that, and are remaining little boys instead of growing up. You can’t bypass the growing and learning and hope to be a real man someday. There is a starting place where you begin to work on it and you work on it until you die.
Don’t go it alone! Find someone who is willing to mentor you; someone who is a real man, and learn everything you can from them. Every great man has had a great mentor for which he owes his life.
2. Create your own masculinity: Some have trouble with this one since the trend today is toward an effeminate unisex culture where it is hard to tell the difference between men and women. It is hard to tell sometimes if it’s a man or just an ugly woman. A man who is masculine is truly appealing to all those around him. Some have the wrong concept of what masculinity is; it isn’t being bad, or the machismo of hoodlum street gangs mistaken for courage; quite to the contrary, it is integrity, honor, duty, and valor that form the everlasting qualities of manhood: A real man is honest with himself and those around him, and is a kind man who cares for others..
Masculine men tend to be leaders who radiate power and confidence, and who aren’t afraid to accept a challenge. Real men aren’t robots; they show emotions and know how to express love and compassion.
3. Be a sociable man: A simple definition: “Someone who is Fond of the company of others”. A social man finds it hard to live without his friends. He is a driven social creature who loves people and loves being around them. Sometimes fear holds a person back from socializing; actually, there is no need to be fearful of anyone. We are all just people; we all function as human beings. The rich man; the celebrity; the president, all just men. Talk to them just as you would to anyone else; they prefer it that way. Here’s good advice: “Talk about anything and everything to everyone you come across, small talk or whatever, they are just like you (human). Most people are sociable and will talk back and make conversation, if they don’t, then it’s their problem. Practice. Keep Trying.” Whatever you do, talk to people, learn from them, build relationships with them, and help them if you can. This is what gives fullness to life and opens doors of opportunity.
4. Don’t be a hater: Some men are woman haters who only use woman to fulfill their own lust. In fact they use everyone for their own gain, discarding old friends as new ones come along who have more to offer. They have no appreciation for anyone or intelligence, value, and character. Their only concern is for themselves and fulfilling their own lusts and needs. They hate just about everything and everybody including themselves.
5. Have a worthwhile purpose: The greatest purpose in all of life is helping others to improve their lives. If you spend your whole life just collecting money and things, what has been the purpose of having been on earth? Nothing is more meaningful than what you do to help someone else along the way. We all have some value to give. Discover what it is that you can contribute, and get busy doing it. If you have knowledge, share it; if you have money, use it to benefit others. Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate of the 1930s, had a goal in life. It was to earn all the money that he could the first half of his life, and then give it away to help others the last part of his life, which he did; some 400 million dollars.
I was talking to a lady in Florida recently and mentioned that I liked to play the guitar and sing county songs. This prompted her to share a story about something that happened when she was traveling through the state of Maryland. She had stopped to try to get her bearings on where she was when a man walked up beside her car and asked her if he could be of help. She told him that she was lost, so he explained how she should go. The man was Chris Kristofferson. I’ve always liked Chris’ music, now I like him even more as a real person who apparently cares for others.
6. A real man faces up to his spiritual needs: The Bible is filled with stories of real men whose faith and courage in the face of death is remarkable. Many of them stood firmly on their faith in God and sacrificed their life for it. The Apostle Paul is a great example of being a real man. Paul was university trained and very intelligent. Not much is said about his appearance, but it seems he might have been rather small, and not very good looking. What he lacked in stature and looks he made up for in courage. Paul once hated Christians, and persecuted them until one day when he met Jesus face to face in a vision and accepted him as Lord. From that point forward he boldly proclaimed Christ, knowing that he would one day be arrested and killed. His motto was, “For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain.” So it is with a real man today, who is not afraid of dying, but is more concerned about fulfilling his purpose on earth.
Today it is not dangerous to have a faith in God, at least in America, but it is an extremely important part of being a real and completed man. Being spiritually complete is to have a relationship with God and experience his power and presence in your life.
This week on yahoo news was a story about the daughter of Clint Eastwood. She doused a handbag with gasoline and set it on fire and then put the video of it on her boy friend’s blog. The handbag was valued at over $100,000. It angered the readers of the blog so much that hundreds of comments could not be published because they were too negative. Those that were published showed anger for such a calloused way of wasting money when there is so much need in the world. The greatest trait of being a real man or real woman, as a matter of fact, is a genuine concern for those around us who are suffering and have needs and then caring enough to give the help that we can.
About the Author: Jimmie is an aspiring writer based in Nashville, Tennessee. His goal is to help others reach their full potential through personal development. His life is about living life through travel, meeting new and interesting people, reading, and writing, learning and socializing. You can contact Jimmie here by email.
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