How Much Should You Care About What People Think
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
~Lao Tzu
How much should you really care about what people think of you? Interesting question, don’t you think? It is very normal to care what others think about you and almost impossible not to care at all. We have an innate desire to be sociable and to be accepted and loved by others. Nevertheless, there is a limit as to how far anyone should go to gain another’s approval. It is when you pass the limit that it becomes a prospect for misery and a danger of becoming a prisoner to someone else’s expectations.
It is crossing the limit when you care what others think about how you dress, talk and your personal decisions concerning friends, career, or where you live, etc. On the other hand, some things are always in order: Being polite, kind, considerate, friendly, inoffensive, and showing gratitude.
Good relationships are one of the most important things we accomplish in life, but they are not our only goal. Here are five suggestions on how to balance your concern about what others think:
Always pay attention to what others think: But avoid letting your feelings become involved, whether it is a complement or a putdown. The truth is that most people aren’t that concerned with what you do, what you have, or how you look; they have other more important things on their mind, like their broken finger nail or headache.
Everyone has an opinion, but is someone else’s opinion more important than your own? Sometimes it may be, but you are the one to decide. Intelligent people latch on to good ideas when they come along and reject bad ones.
Remember that you aren’t in a popularity contest: That contest ended after high school. It is always good to have friends, but friends who respect you for who you are. Do you really want to be friends with someone who does not respect you for who you are? I would think not. When you strive to be a caring, right kind of person and some still rather have nothing to do with you that is a flag of caution indicating that you don’t need to pursue their friendship. Sometimes, however, behavior does need adjusting if what we do constantly offends others. And that is an object of consideration. Albeit, doing the right thing sometimes offends some people. Therefore, it takes some wise discernment to determine if any adjustment is needed or just lets things continue as is.
Have your own goals in life and pursue them: Have your own plan for your life, not someone else’s plan. You are the one responsible, not anyone else, not parents, not relatives, not friends. You are the one who must live with your choices. Make sure that they are good choices and your very own.
Develop your own value system: If you have a strong value system concerning good health when you’re young, it’s not likely that you will have to deal with a bad smoking habit when you’re older or even worse a drug problem. Good values aren’t always popular and may draw criticism from your peers, but then peers aren’t always right, nor do they always have your best interest at heart. It isn’t a strain to develop values. Any intelligent person should know what’s in their best interest. It’s just a matter of having the courage to stand on what you know to be right consistently.
Conclusion: Although life isn’t all about me and my wants, it is my freedom to choose what I believe is best for me. And no one knows me and my needs better than I. That being the case, while I’ll listen carefully to others, I choose to decide my own course in life that is with one exception: I rely on God to guide me in the choices I make.When we have a relationship whit God, His Spirit joins our spirit and he becomes our guide if we allow Him. God is omnipotent, all powerful; omniscient, all knowing. Having access to His power and knowledge is at our disposal when we have a relationship with Him. Not only that but His presence gives access to God’s love, joy and peace. If you would like to learn more about how to have a relationship with God, Click Here.
About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is a motivational speaker and author who has been involved in teaching Christian Personal Development for more than 30 years. There are hundreds of articles to help you on this website (Website Contents) in your personal growth.
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